Unique Journeys

I want to live a life that matters, full of love, meaning and purpose.  Sometimes I get carried away thinking that I can somehow manufacture that kind of life in my own strength and vision.  When I get walking down that road, I fall into old "never enough" patterns that only destroy and eat away at the good that is.

My friend, Ann, died of cancer yesterday.  She was my age. Our lives have not intersected at all in the last few years, but still she has an important place in my own story and I am deeply grieving her loss.  There were many things in her life, including this incredibly sad and premature death, that were completely out of her control.  She suffered more than most in her life.  It did not all work out as she might have hoped.  Her life was more rich because of those disappointments and her ongoing faithful love.  Ann lived a most special and unique life that was full of meaning and purpose and love and all that it was meant to be.  Her life was its own  colourful tapestry that still brings much joy and thankfulness and meaning to all of us who knew and loved her.

Last night, before I knew that Ann had died, I went to the movie, "Les Miserables."  It is a most powerful and epic movie that was a strong encouragement from God for me on my own journey.  Each person portrayed in the movie had their own path and were central to the fabric of community and life.  I was particularly struck by some of the less central characters and the impact of their lives.  I fell in love with the little eight year old pick-a- pocket boy who played a heroic part in the early revolution and died for the cause.  I treasure Eponine and hold her particularly close to my heart.  There were no fulfilling moments in her life by the world's standards.  Her parents were crazy, self-centered crooks and she was never loved by the man she loved.  She died delivering him a message from his true love.  Her life still shone like a beacon to me.  Somehow against all odds, she had noble strength of character and kind and self sacrificing love.  She was fully human and lived her ordinary and complicated life with significant moments of pure light and love that without her knowing saved lives and brought fulfillment to others.

Most of us will live lives that are maybe not all that we would have hoped.  I am too often like my dog Daisy, pulling at my leash and running ahead in frustration after this and that on the road of life with God.  I want to slow down and walk contentedly beside God, listening and watching for the places that I am to be.    My journey will be unique and special  and all that is important in the big picture of life will be accomplished as I let go of fear and patiently walk at God's side with trust and love.

Ann walked faithfully with God.  It was all much more than enough and just right in God's plan.  You are in heaven now, Ann, waving your victory flag for a life well-lived.  Rest in peace my friend.  You have brought peace and love to my life and have made a meaningful difference in all our unique journeys.  Thank you for your faithful, persevering and loving walk of life.  You are an inspiration to me.