Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

The Bible is full of paradoxes.  Often we read one passage and then make decisions based on that one passage, forgetting that there are other passages that may give a rounder and more complete understanding of God.  One area of paradox is the understanding of loving ourselves and yet also denying ourselves.  The Bible makes it very clear that we are lovingly created and that God knows us through and through. (Psalm 139).  We are to love others as we love ourselves.  Implicit in that statement is that we are to love ourselves.   Christians often focus on the fact that we are full of sin and are to deny ourselves.  There is evidence for both approaches in the Bible.  I believe that both ends of this paradox can be embraced.  We are to love ourselves.  I think that deep dislike of ourselves and lack of self-acceptance is much more common than we realize in our culture.  We carefully mask our insecurities and confuse pure love for ourselves with the tendency to treat ourselves too softly and to amass material things.  Over and over in the Bible and in experience God expresses His love for all of us.  He created us just as we are and cradles us in His hands like this sculpture by Dorothea Steigerwald.  In response to his wonderful creation of us,  we are to cultivate a healthy love and acceptance for ourselves.  For many years I have believed in God's love and forgiveness, but have had a hard time loving and accepting and forgiving myself.  I have prided myself on loving others, but deep down I have really not loved myself.  We can often hide our struggles with self-acceptance, but sooner or later our frustration with ourselves rears up in anger, anxiety, addictions and jealousy or depression and lethargy.  I was aware of a hard edge and flares of temper in myself that were directly related to my own frustrations.  I found it difficult to know how to soften that edge and tendency to anger and sought help to understand the root of my own propensities.
While we are to love ourselves, that does not give us licence to over-indulge ourselves or to have an attitude of entitlement.  A good parent loves their child from the bottom of their heart, but does not let them be selfish or do whatever they desire.  Similarly, while loving ourselves we are commanded to care for others.  That will often mean that we consciously deny ourselves indulgences that restrict our servant and caring hearts for others.  Similarly, we all make mistakes and often have a propensity for selfishness and for "doing those things that we ought not to do, while leaving undone those things which we ought to do."  We are proud and want to be our own gods.  I think those are the attitudes and propensities that are often called sin.   Often I have a nagging awareness of all those things that I have done wrong.  God clearly releases us from those burdens in His forgiveness and love.  Though he creates us fearfully with great serious care and attention, the Bible is full of His clear expressions that we "do not be afraid!"  Just as God clearly forgives us in love, we are to in turn forgive ourselves and others in love.

So, as God has lovingly made us, we too are to cultivate a healthy and deep self love.  We can be our own best friend, waking up in the morning to greet God and ourselves with loving care and attention.  Out of that love we are then able to freely care for others.  Often the degree of gentle compassion that we have for ourselves is expressed in our love and gentle acceptance of others.  At the same time, we cannot use our self-love as a license to indulge our every whim and to make us self-centered.  While loving ourselves purely, we are then free to deny ourselves those things that are not helpful or expressing of care for God or others.   God loves us and forgives us.  Our response is healthy love and respect for ourselves and others.  Love does truly begin at home in the depths of our souls and hearts and minds with God.  Let's let love shine in our hearts.  Allow it to radiate with joy and freedom and without fear to love God, ourselves and others with gentle kindness and acceptance!