Bedtime

Although  the end of the day when everyone is tired  and wound up can be a challenging time, bedtime is nevertheless a highlight of my days.  One of my favorite memories as a child was of my parents reading to me and then sitting by my bed singing "Golden Slumbers" and caressing my forehead, gently touching my hair.  One of my girls who was initially frightened of bedtime and would stay awake in fear and anxiety for hours each night told me recently that bedtime is now her favourite time of the day. For both myself and my children I have been trying to make this ending of the day a time of loving ritual and care.  Several children have a warm bath after supper to help them settle and unwind after a long day.  As each child settles in bed I try to spend quiet time with them.  Sometimes several of us meet together on one bed. We usually read a carefully chosen age appropriate story and then lie together, talking and praying.  I sing to them and quietly tell them how wonderful they are.  Even though my younger children range in age from ten to fifteen, after reading a book for older kids I  follow that up by reading simple and loving board books that affirm my love for them and their own unique specialness.  I allow them to acknowledge and for a time be the small child in each of them that was never treasured and read a bedtime story.   They love a selection of books like Margaret Wise Brown's "Runaway Bunny" and "Goodnight Moon" and  Nancy Tafuri's "You are Special, Little One" and "I Love you, Little One."   I must say that I have been surprised that they still love me reading these simple expressions of love and care over and over.  They have parts that they repeat and I answer.   We then read a short story from a children's bible and are trying to memorize Psalm 23 together.  Usually at night they ask me repeatedly if I love them.  I always reply with quiet enthusiasm about how much I love them and how special they are.   I am so aware that often the messages firmly etched in the unconscious of my children have not been loving and positive.  In the slowed down state just before bed I think that the fertile ground of the unconscious is more receptive to starting to accept some new messages of love and attention.  It can be the beginning of helping our children come to be able to love and accept themselves and be able to receive  love.     I have always known how important healthy closure is in our lives.  Each day is truly a gift, no matter how well or poorly the day has gone.  I try to leave all the details behind at bedtime.  Of course we do not always take the time for this special ritual, but I have intentionally been trying to make the final moments of each day a sacred expression of love for each unique child, imprinting thoughts of those things that are lovely and good as a habit learned to last a lifetime.