Although my last post about bedtime focused on the kids getting to bed, I am the hardest to settle at night! Some of my intentional desire to make bedtime a happy occasion for the kids has come out of my own wanting to calm down and prepare for sleep. For years I have been full of restless energy which has not always served me well. I have started my own bedtime rituals that include a leisurely bath and quiet reflective and encouraging reading in the Psalms or the books of Philippians and Ephesians. Visual images are significant for me so I also turn to Sister Wendy, the art historian nun who has many lovely picture books that are full of rich and beautiful images and meaning. I intentionally ground myself and pray, feeling God's love and light flow through me as I drift off to sleep. For years I did not allow myself much sleep, so getting to bed is still a work in progress as I love my late night time alone.
As I do desire a restful and calm heart of peace in God for myself and my family, I have been reflecting on the concept of rest for quite some time. Each week holds Sunday, a special holy day set apart by God for rest. For many that day of rest may not actually be Sunday, but Sundays do remind me of our human need for Sabbath rest and encourage me to cultivate rest in the midst of my striving and busyness.
Certainly as a culture, particularly here on the West Coast, we pride ourselves on our attempts at balancing healthy leisure with our work. We actually work hard at our play and leisure! I am wondering these days if God's encouragement for rest is less about a legalistic declaration to refrain from work or even an attempt to bring balance in our lives, and more about a letting go of our deep rooted beliefs that our lives are all in our control to mold and shape as we see fit. As I look at the creation story, certainly God is an amazingly creative and intentional creator. Made in His image, we too are invited to be co-creators in the whole scheme of life. We are able to make decisions, be creators, and contribute significantly to the shape of our lives that in turn ripple to profoundly influence others around us both now and in the future. We often get so caught up in our own driven decisions and actions that we start to believe that everything in our lives is really up to us. That belief can subtly take over the direction of our lives, bringing anxiety and stress. I believe that God gave us the day of rest to help us recharge physically, emotionally and spiritually. God Himself took rest as a part of the created order, resting for a full day as part of His creation. I think of the field left fallow and empty for a time in order to be replenished. Pride and greed sometimes push us to ignore the wisdom of the fallow time in all parts of our lives. We are so often programmed to want bigger, better, faster and more, more, more. Our eager ambition leads to so much destruction. Living by the ocean, I often grieve over the over-fishing that stripped our oceans of so much life, some never to return.
We are given a wise command to preserve ourselves and to prevent the loss of self and God's perspective that inevitably comes when we do not take time to rest. Rest also keeps our overactive egos in check, again for our own mental health. It is so important that we know our place as persons living among other persons as human beings. Everything is not up to us. In the mystery that is life there are forces that are beyond our control. We are created beings and not the ultimate creator. I am wanting to increasingly let go of the puffed up balloon of my own ego and importance, allowing myself to be and to live fully, enjoying each step of the way. Taking time and space to rest in being is an important first step on that journey.
I have really not been good at taking a day to relax and rest. I have not modeled that concept for my children, often pushing them to work just that little bit harder. I am realizing that the idea of a day of rest or Sabbath is an attitude of mind where for one day we cease our striving and allow our egos to relax and deflate so that our quieter and more authentic selves can emerge. We are to consciously set apart this day to worship and love God from whom all things have come. For our family it is our commitment to worship God in church on Sundays; I want to start letting go of the never-ending push of activity as well. That will have a different shape for each of us. I will go for a leisurely walk with the family, read and have a nap, and cook a simple supper. Others that I know extend this concept to include a weekend a month and a week every 4 months to cultivate that internal stillness and to let go of driven purpose and activity. For some with small children or those with family who demand full-time care it takes more creativity to build in rest to our days. It is then perhaps even more important to be aware of the need for rest! Step by step, it is my goal to cultivate a heart that is content and at rest and which can truly lie fallow and be creatively restored in the gift of God's Sabbath.
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