Fog is a good way to understand how life feels for many of our kids and those of us who have gone through times of darkness. Life looms up in front of us quickly and surprisingly out of the deep grey, over and over. There are many surprises and no sense of direction. Life is a dull haze of trying to somehow make our way with very few landmarks and little control.
We are groping to find the road ahead. Even others helping to shine light sometimes just makes it all the more confusing as the light bounces this way and that and only seems to diffuse and deepen the darkness. There is an almost sick sense of floating in a daze without control. Sometimes we try to speed up to get out of the heaviness of it all, but that usually only adds to the difficulty.
It does help to have others beside us in the fog who can help guide and slow us down. Those others sometimes have a bigger perspective and can remind us that there is sun and freshness and beauty out there somewhere. It is comforting to know that they are there beside us in the grey and that they too are with us in the unknowing. When the fog lifts even for a little while, they help us recognize those familiar signs and realize that it will not go on for ever.
Today there were more breaks in the heavy fog than there were yesterday. The white covered mountains were still there, standing bright and firm. For part of the day the sun sparkled the frost-laced trees and colours were radiant all around. I will save those pictures in my heart for those inevitable mornings ahead when the grey descends again. Maybe this time I will even grow in appreciation of the hopeful silence and varied depths of beautiful textured hues within the grey as inspired in this painting by Yuko Shiraishi. May I feel the fresh and deep wetness of the moisture laden air and may my eyes be open to see and rest in the unique beauty and quiet space within those foggy days.
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