Touching lives. We all do it. For good, for bad and for every way in between, we touch lives.
We touch lives through our words said and unsaid, by our actions and just by our being. I have been struck afresh lately by the power of physical touch.
We live in a fast paced society of many words. Words texted, tweeted, blogged and spoken. Even with our children we use words to explain, demand, correct and direct. Sometimes our words loose their impact with their overuse.
How can we connect in other ways with our kids and those around us?
Touch is a powerful way to communicate. We often underestimate the its impact. Confident deep touch settles and is a powerful regulator. It communicates belonging and closeness. Many of our children through adoption have not had regular deep touch and are starved for sensory input through touch. At the same time, many cannot tolerate any touch. Some kids settle after a deep hug. For those who do not or who are older and do not come for those hugs often there is still that deep need for the communication of touch.
Be creative in ways to touch that are meaningful for the hypersensitive or older kids. Avoid light touch. A secure hand placed on a shoulder for a couple of seconds can give deep encouragement beyond words. Hold your child's feet gently but securely as you are talking with them at night. Offer foot and back massages at the end of busy days. Some of the closest times I have had with my kids have been while giving them back massages in quiet and wordless companionship.
Sometimes actual touch is still too much. Try placing your hand at a distance from skin as if touching. Gentle and loving presence. Connecting.
To touch lives in ways that are meaningful and helpful. Try touch.
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