ReCreation in Play

It is always a shock to the system to head back to school.  For our kids with challenges at school it is even more of a shock.  Our four youngest had a most wonderful summer.  They played freely and happily with one another for hours.  Even though they are now teens, they still like playing on playgrounds, balancing and swinging for whole afternoons.  When they were younger, we drove to many different parks in our town.  Now they can bicycle or scooter to one of three accessible creative playgrounds in our neighbourhood.  When they weren't on playgrounds this summer, they were playing hide and seek, biking and exploring.  They frequently brought out the Barbies and plastic horses and stuffies.  They were happy to play by themselves and never asked to play with other kids their age. The truth is, they love to play at a level much much younger than their chronological age.  They have missed so much of their childhood and they delight in childhood play.  It is so easy to forget that often our children have a much younger emotional age than their chronological age.  It is so important to provide opportunities to allow them to play at a their own level in ways that are still socially acceptable.

School and peer groups bring added levels of pressure for my kids.  A couple of them are so emotionally exhausted at the end of the day that they go to bed at six o'clock and do not wake up until morning.  We make sure that we protect private play time for them.   I encourage them to head off to the playgrounds after school to balance, swing and move freely.  We do a lot of swimming where they can plunge and jump and play in the water.  Their bodies crave the big muscle activity and sensory input of all these activities.  I talk to their teachers and arrange for adjustments in the amount of homework.  Their minds and emotions need a place of safe rest.

It is not easy to juggle the social demands of being a teen with the inner needs and ages of our kids.  It takes creativity and time and constant awareness of the many directions that our kids are being pulled. I have always tried to work part time so that I can be home when school is over.   As a parent, we have some clear guidelines.  Sleepovers do not work for our kids.  Weekday play times with peers are challenging and usually kept until the weekend.  Even then, we chose carefully selected activities like the monthly community teen pool parties at our recreation centre and youth group activities through the church.  We have had to be selective with the number of activities that the kids can handle, but they all take some dance and swimming lessons where they have all made friends while doing  big muscle activities and gaining socially acceptable lifetime recreation skills.  We are fortunate to be able to have choice of where to do activities too.  We chose places that have teachers who are noncompetitive and inclusive.   Over the years we have explored skating, therapeutic riding, climbing, trampoline and gymnastics and art and music classes too.

When I used to read about how many kids have different chronological and emotional ages it all seemed clear.  In real life, sometimes there are much greater areas of subtlety.  It is easy to miss and to have way too high expectations for our kids.  Watch carefully for signs of stress and anxiety in your kids.  Be around them lots.   Be creative.  There will be lots of crashes, but being proactive in providing what our kids need sure helps give them some possibilities for appropriate social and emotional growth with recreational interests to last them a lifetime.