Guilt

Saying "no" to the cat was the right thing to do.  Not all decisions are as straightforward and clear.  Some never feel right.
I am often plagued with guilt from saying "no" in our adoption journey.
We have said "no" to children in need.  We have not adopted all the children linked with our own.  These kids still do not have fresh last names and homes and  families to love them.  Our adoption story is not a neat and well wrapped package of whole sibling groups cared for and adopted by us.
We have said "no."  Not an easy "no."  Decisions made after many sleepless nights and wrestling in our hearts.  Decisions and children still not easy to face.
We have reasons and justifications and social workers agreements.  But it is still a heart rending and difficult "no."

We are not the only ones who have made difficult and less than perfect decisions, but we have often felt alone on this part of our journey.  As we have been longer in the adoption world, we have shared similar heartbreaks with others.  In some ways by its very nature, there is a deep sense of  "never enough" in adoption.  Not all the stories feel complete and restored.

Do the best you can.  Get insight and support from your social workers.  Care for those people in your life that you have been given.  Protect their hearts and lives.  Do your best.  Care in ways that are appropriate and possible.  Pray for the rest.  Pray deeply.   And let go.