Holding Patterns

A significant part of my work days are spent helping moms and dads learn how to hold their children.  Many of the children that I work with are not easy to hold.  Together we find ways that parents can not only begin to hold their children but also begin to bond with them.  Sometimes children refuse to be held.  We try to find creative ways to make connections and to strengthen those bonds.

We face the same challenges with our children here at home.  Sometimes our kids need to learn to be held and we need to learn how to hold them in ways that are best for them.  Sometimes they can only tolerate a hand on their shoulder at first.  Often they need to be in control.  My children have sometimes started the process of allowing themselves to be held by snuggling with our dog.  They love to hold animals and often their hearts and bodies are softened through contact with them.  Horse riding has been another way to give the children the warmth and receptivity of another living being close by in a way that is healthy and non threatening.

Sometimes physically holding our children and one another is just not possible for any number of reasons.  I have been cultivating the habit of holding my children and those I care about in my heart.  I keep space for them and surround them with my love and thoughts and prayers.  I hold them in the arms of my soul.  I visualize my heart as a lovely "great room" or garden with all those in my life enjoying the loving space and one another together.

I am learning how to enfold my own self in love too.  That sometimes is quite a bit more tricky for me as often I am my own worst enemy.  We are to love others as we love ourselves.  I am keeping loving holding space of gentleness for myself these days too.  My heart is more open and gentle to others when I do not ignore my own needs to be held carefully by myself. Like our children, we too need to learn to receive supportive holding by others, both in their hearts and in their arms.

Beyond and also intimately within all our earthly connections and our hearts God is there waiting for us with His open arms and heart.  Today may I lean a little more into His holding love and rest.