Gone

Gone.    The cat has gone as silently and mysteriously as it came.
The impact of his going is much more significant than he can imagine.

We had all begun to claim him.  Names were the main topic of conversation.  He was cuddled and held.  Checked on constantly.  Tied us all together in lovely ways, from allergic Dad, to strong teen boys, to youngest girl.  He jumped on backs.  Got his tail in paint.  Sat in laps and purred.  Sought out first thing in the morning and last thing at night and most moments in between.

Gone.
 Feelings of abandonment, betrayal, confusion and pain resurrected.
 Familiar feelings of hurt and loss.  Again.
We all have those feelings shoved in corners.
Deepest though are those of the kids through adoption.  A familiar story.  Start to claim.  To belong.  Then gone.  Several of the kids have been claimed in the early stages of adoption before us.  We are the third adoptive family for one.  Birth families, foster families, adoptive families.  Loved.  Sought out.  Claimed.  Gone.

Etched in hearts, minds, spirits and bodies.  Rejection.  Abandonment.  Confused feelings of hurt. Disbelief.
Some kids retreat.  Another becomes perfect.  Another more demanding.  Both wild tantrums and quiet disappearing are experienced by our crew.

We were going, going, going until a surprise thwack.
The cat is gone.