Good Enough

Days are full around here.  There always seems to be a list of things that I have not quite accomplished or done the way I would like.  I have struggled over the years with never quite doing or being enough. When I think about it,  I am not really sure who the enough is for.  Just a nagging feeling of unsettled not enough.  Lately I must say I am more relaxed in the not enough department.  Throughout the day I try to ground myself and take quiet breaks of peacefulness with myself.  I remind myself that even when things do not get done in my timing, often as I wait quietly, little miracles of opportunity do unfold.   It has been fun to fully enjoy those opportunities and marvel in them as they arise.  Bit by bit, I am letting go of my own control and perfection and delighting in what is.

Sometimes I think maybe I have also subconsciously felt that I am not enough for God.  Today our sermon was about how we do not have to add legalism and our own expectations to God.  God gives us relationship with Himself as a free gift.  Jesus is enough.  I cannot add to that enough.

I know that often my children do not feel that they are good enough for me, for God or for themselves.  Low self esteem is often hidden and disguised in many behaviours but very alive in many of us nonetheless.  Our children sometimes feel that they can never quite be or do enough.  They will never quite catch up.  There is such a fine balance between having expectations, helping our kids develop life skills, and still expressing our unconditional love and delight in them as being more than enough as our children, wonderfully created in their being.

So another new week waits ahead.  I will go to sleep and get up and start again, with confidence and joy that it is all enough.  More than good enough.  As I relax in my own good enough, I am hopeful that every one of my children  will know deeply that they are wonderful and special and much more than great enough.