The Game Well-Played!

Tonight my husband and I had a great date together watching our son from afar play soccer.  He and his team are down in the Lower Mainland for the weekend playing several games. As we huddled together in the cold wetness of the evening,  husband and I were impressed by the quality of the soccer played.  We have missed watching soccer regularly now that our son lives up north.  The level of soccer played was great fun to watch and to cheer on.  Congratulations son!

Although the team played extremely well and has improved greatly since we watched them last in the fall, they did not win the game as they would have liked.  The players were disappointed, but it was still a great game and a wonderful evening.  

I was reminded of a conversation that I had with our psychologist earlier in the day.  As parents we can parent well, but the results are not always what we may fully desire.  We have to be careful not to take on responsibility for ultimate healing of our children.  I have spent hours worrying over what I could do to be a better parent.  The bottom line is that there are many different factors that contribute to the health of our children.  It is important to not take on all the responsibility for our children.  We need to learn to enjoy the parenting process and let go of all the final results!  Easier said than done, but still important to remember.  Our kids come with their own propensities and leanings.  They often have many other factors that contribute to their being, including past trauma and any number of challenges.

As parents it does not help our children when we are personally invested in the 'success' of our parenting. Be invested in our kids as they are.  Enjoy the process of parenting.  Keep a healthy perspective, recognizing that we may not be the 'winning' team as we would like.  Be creative in recognizing the great things that we do contribute.  Get help with strategies for effective parenting, do your best, and then take the personal losses as part of this risky game of life!  Watch for those surprising places where there is winning too!  Those wins may not be with the kids, but with helpful shifts in our own approaches and perspectives.  Tonight I cheer on all those involved in this parenting journey, wishing you a  great game full of great moves and healthy perspectives!