Our Nanny

Late last night I made my weekly call to our Nanny.  Nanny is the foster mother of three of my girls.  She has  become one of my closest friends and is an incredible support to me and all the family.  I depend on our weekly calls and often call her frequently during the week.  She is the only other person in the world who deeply knows and loves my children and understands my daily walk.  She knows all the details lived of my children and has an intimate understanding of all the people and circumstances of their lives.  She has experienced their pain and trauma in even more intensity than me.  She is also still walking a similar path herself as a hands-on-mother of three of my kids' foster siblings.   She understands the grief and loss of our children and has fully embraced our other daughter into her ever expanding heart of love.   The blood shared in our tears and sweat shed over the years has united us deeply in ways far more binding and significant than any genetic connection.  I know that she is always there for me and I do rest in her love and full acceptance.

This week I met another lovely person who is in the beginning stages of considering being a foster mum.  Many have discouraged her in her dream.  I do not know where God will lead her, but I certainly know how important is the calling of foster parenting.  My children and all their extended families, birth and otherwise, have been profoundly impacted by the care and sensitive wisdom of our Nanny.  Her loving touch is deeply ingrained in us all.

I know that my special relationship with Nanny and her husband is a rare gift.  At the same time, I feel that sometimes us adoptive parents do not give our foster families the incredible credit that their sacrificial love and care deserves.  One of the previous adoptive families of our daughter may have subconsciously felt that they were rescuing her from foster care.  Somehow my daughter picked up on that subtle message and in panic that her Nanny and foster dad were not known and appreciated by them, she disrupted the adoption.  Nanny and Ken will always be central family, holding a most central place in the hearts of my girls.

My new friend considering foster care, I am praying for you.  Even in this process may you come to appreciate and join in prayer and love for the many amazing foster parents spending their lives for children.

Nanny, I so appreciate and love you.  Thank you for being most deeply the  sister that I always dreamed would love and care for me.  Your constant support, listening ear, and love will continue to bloom and grow and shine in our hearts always.  You and Ken are deeply family to us all.