Actively Involved

As a parent, I do not just keep thoughts of involvement with my children as ideas in my mind.  Similarly in all my interactions with others,  not all the plans and hopes in my dreams come to reality, but certainly some do.  One of the joys of life is experiences shared together.  I am delighting in holiday time by the sea with our youngest four.  The pace of life here leaves time for games of "Sorry", "Pick Up Sticks" and even some fast paced spoon card game that is just too intense for me.  Mornings are spent wandering the low tide beaches discovering those  fascinating creations normally hidden in the seas depths.  We all read together and swim and wander along the beach chatting with others and dropping in on our neighbours.

I am reflecting that often my time with God is purely an exercise in my mind.  Indeed God takes up thought and prayer time.  I do believe that He loves each of us beyond all measure.  Often my relationship with Him stops there.  Life can involve active interaction with the God of the Universe,  affectionately known by many as "The Universe."   Listen to those inner promptings of your heart.  Step out and act on them.  Be still and receive love and care from our Creator.  Wait and see what blessings come.  Develop eyes to see and ears to hear not just in your mind but the fullness of your being.    May we share those God or Universe moments with one another.  Recognize them.  Interact with them and have them be part of the fullness of life.  Life has so many dimensions: emotional, physical, mental and spiritual!  We read of others who speak of personal relationship with God.  Go further to notice those moments of experience in your own life. Write about them.  Include them in the internal story of your life.  Most of us do not recognize God in the everyday experiences.  I want to take time and grow in this experience of life with God.  Practice and jump in to the love and involved interest of God for you with all of your being.

Up on the Mantelpiece

Many of our family treasures are proudly displayed on the mantelpiece over our fireplace.  While some things come and go, others stay put.  The brass clock stays steady, faithfully ticking away over the years.  A solid Inuit carving, smooth and carefully crafted, serves as a place where those transient cards come to be propped up during times of celebration.  Shells and special pieces of driftwood come and go and give variety and beauty.

Though not specifically displayed on the mantel, each of our children are treasures to be appreciated and placed firmly in the heart of our family.  Painfully, I am aware that sometimes our children in this life may not be a constant in our lives.  Sometimes the tragedy of death takes them from us.  No less devastating, sometimes children decide to leave in anger, or mistakes made cause distances that never seem to be able to be bridged.  As I wrote yesterday about our children feeling increasingly secure as the waves of love are washed over them, I was aware that none of us have guarantees of that ongoing sense of belonging and love.  Sometimes those beautiful pieces of driftwood washed up high on the beach that we hope will stay forever do get washed away in the storms to continue their life journey on other shores.  Even chunks of rock on those sandstone beaches get broken off.

I have a mantelpiece in my heart that I cherish and admire whenever I want.   All my children and loved ones have a special place on that mantel.  No earthly or heavenly reality can remove them from that most special place in my heart.   No disappointments, failures or harsh words can touch this sanctuary.  I try not to bring my own guilt or pain there and instead come to my inner mantelpiece with deep love and prayer.

I can let go of guilt in my own sanctuary when I remember that I am firmly placed forever on God's mantel.  I believe we are all there, displayed with joy and care in God's heart, even when we ourselves do not know or even want His recognition.  Nothing can remove us from that place in His heart.  It is His place to hold and treasure the great wonder and love of each unique person of His creation.

Sometimes in life those special treasures we that thought were safe in our keeping are ripped away from us in any number of ways.  We all have people who we are deeply missing.

I am thankful for that central place in my own heart where I can honour and hold my special ones forever.  I have lasting security in the knowledge and experience that God has me and all these others on His mantel too, far from any harm and eternally treasured and held no matter what.

Sixty years and counting!

Congratulations to my dear Mum and Dad!  Today you begin your sixty-first year together as partners on this journey of life.  Thank you for your love and commitment to one another all these years.  I have noticed your constant faithful caring and thoughtfulness to each other through both good times and those more challenging times.  You have been steady and consistent and have done your best even when it has not been easy.  You have made allowances for areas of struggle in each other and have  selflessly supported one another.

Your love for each other has given deep foundations of security for many of us whose lives you touch.  You are an inspiration for me and for our children.  Your steady love for one another will continue to bear fruit over many generations.

By the sea we are always reminded of the impact of the waves.   It is the waves that smooth the sandstone and create beautiful and surprising creations over the years.  Waves wash up all those interesting delights along the shore.  Similarly, the steady love and commitment that you have for one another gives great gifts for eternity.

I know best those gifts that you have given to me and my family.  Often in my own relationships I think of your steady love for one another and take a few more deep breaths of forgiveness and start again.  As we celebrated yesterday, I thank you for your opening embrace for your four grandchildren by adoption.  Your steadiness has brought hope of the possibility of lasting relationships.  As the girls seek to rebuild their own lives, they truly have increasingly felt washed by the waves of your love on their shores.    Although they often have times of feeling like disconnected driftwood being aimlessly tossed around in the waves,  being welcomed into celebrations of faithfulness year after year brings memories shared and gives the security of strong and steady rock supporting them!  Their rocky beaches  are washed steadily by your faithful love and hospitality that gradually will give stability and hope for commitment and good things discovered.  I think they are increasingly knowing that the shape of their lives has incredible beauty even by virtue of its long journey and weathered and unique appearance.  They are beginning to feel like the treasures that they are, appreciated like the unique rocky formations on the beach and the delightful driftwood creations safely placed on the family mantel.  They are recognizing that they are special and indeed a part of this shoreline where they will be enjoyed and delighted in forever.

Not all of us will have sixty years together.  We all have the new start of today.  May we be faithful in love to those around us in the reality of right now, remembering that the love that we express today will, like the waves,  make their mark!  Today may we appreciate the unique beauty of one another, treasuring and accepting one another as you began in your care and commitment for one another those sixty years ago.  Thank you for this precious legacy of love, dear Mum and Dad!  For each day together we are thankful!

Seasons

Blog posts have been rattling around in my head and heart these days, but have not made it to paper.  For a while I fussed that I was not getting to write, but I am consciously letting go of my own expectations, embracing the reality that all of life has its seasons.  It is important for me learn to release the pressures even of things that are enjoyable and good in my life.  Those posts will get written and I will return to regular blogging as it is something that is fruitful and life-giving for me, but for now I am fully embracing other parts of life.

 June is full of celebrations and endings in our home.  For our family, our numbers have become larger again as older children are coming and going.  For our children by adoption the celebrations of even wonderful beginnings and endings with more people in and out often brings up those old feelings of abandonment and painful transitions.  Bedtime cuddles and long talks are more important than ever.

The garden and late evening walks are added delights of this season.  We are gathering many fruits of our labours these days with meals of fresh broccoli, peas, and raspberries picked for breakfast.

I hold the rooted groundedness of the weather, outdoors and varied seasons in my heart with thankfulness.  I want my heart and soul to be ever listening and responsive to those changing calls and whispers from God that are unique to each season and time.  Some seasons are downright hard to endure.  Others we hope will never end.  Don't let go of those ever-changing cycles that bring growth, pain and joy.  Live fully in each, keeping your ears and hearts open always!

Go For It!

Today we had a wonderful celebration at my work as one of my colleagues is following her heart and with her family including two small children is heading off to begin a new life adventure in Australia.  Bit by bit, day by day, she has followed her heart to start this new chapter of her life.  It has not always been an easy journey and there have been many discouraging parts to her story, but finally one big hurdle has been crossed.  She has sold her home, quit her work and they are flying off next week.
Her predecessor in that job is also following her heart and is in the middle of her own adventure as she has just sent off all the papers to adopt her daughter from Africa.  She too has not had an easy path, but has recently taken some significant steps forward as she moves forward in faith on a different kind of dream.  Today I held both these wonderful women in my heart and allowed their journeys and faith to inspire me.

Life is not always about dreams.  Sometimes there are long periods when we really may not have any special goals or aspirations on this journey.  We are simply hiking along, doing the best we can in the ordinary.  One person I also work with has dreams of his own, but is also really good at encouraging the rest of us.  Not a birthday or event goes by without significant celebration and joy expressed in cards, gifts, and banners draped across desks.  Delighting in bringing joy to those daily events that life brings is in itself a big part of the adventure of life.

When those possible and not so possible dreams bubble up in our hearts it is important to recognize them and step forward.  At first the steps forward may seem insignificant.  They may be as ordinary as celebrating the birthday of a colleague!  Sometimes the steps may seem like they go backwards in disappointment.  Keep the faith.  Go for your dreams.

For all those in the midst of adoption journeys, be encouraged!  There are many steps forward and backward both in the process of adopting and also in the process of parenting!  Do not loose your passion for your kids.  It is a hard but most wonderful journey. Even the stepping out to try is enough.  Wait for whatever will be, while taking a step at a time forward.

Life is not perfect.  Dreams may seem small or big.  Listen.  Respond.  Receive.  Love.  Go for those stirrings in your heart in faith and trust!

Refreshing!

One of my daughters has arrived home from journeys afar and as I went to snuggle with her before bed tonight she was busy refreshing her computer as she felt sure that I would have written a new blog post.  Somehow she felt she could not access it!  Even though she is now home here with me she wanted to know what I was thinking and thought the blog might expand on my thoughts these days.  She gave me lots of possible blog posts that she has been envisioning.  My reaction to chronic illnesses around here, feelings about various children, weekends away, my work and the fullness of these days were all possible insights that daughter had hoped my non-existant blog post might reveal.  I suggested that maybe it might be a good idea for her to write my blog as she has so many things she is hoping to discover.

Refreshing her computer did not pull up a new blog post.  I think it is time to push the refresh button on my heart and mind!  Refresh and release! There are almost too many thoughts and concerns rolling around in my crowded heart and mind these days.   I have not known where to begin in blog writing!

Though I do email and text various other children away on adventures, I know they want more than knowing I miss them.  They all want details and thoughts.

For now,  I am on refresh and release mode.  Thanks for reminding me of the need to regularly push that refresh button, dear daughter.  I so quickly slip back into piling up the concerns and busyness of daily life in my heart and mind.  We all need to push that button,  have a good laugh and release the clogging fullness of our days.

Tonight I will refresh.  It is too late for a good walk, but I will let go of all those things to do and consciously relax, renewing perspective in quietness and trust, walking forward in love and mercy.
Lately I have made many many trips driving along the almost overflowing banks of the Fraser River.  I pray that I may be increasingly like that flowing river, full to overflowing of nutrient rich refreshing waters of love.  I will imagine those waters tonight, flowing out to enrich and send love to so many.

That Lady

Another of our favourite people is the central character in Charlotte Zolotow's book, "I Know a Lady."  In the story a little girl feels loved by the lady in her neighbourhood who quietly and gently gardens, picks zinnias and makes cookies for special occasions.  In the rhythm of days the Lady savours and shares the ordinary delights around her.  She is an inspiration to me.

These days I am delighting in the longer sunny days.  I am spending time in the garden, and each evening my husband and I go for a walk around our neighbourhood, listening to the birds, smelling the fresh mown fields,  and enjoying the vibrance of this season.   Our garden is already full and our dinners include lots of fresh broccoli, snap peas and abundant swiss chard.

Life is full for the children as the activities of their year ripen to the final harvest of speech contests, class parties, piano recitals and dance shows.  This week is our local track and field for a couple of my athletes too.  Like the lady in her garden, I am wanting to preserve gentle routine and peace and calm in the midst of these full harvest days.  Chaos and tiredness at the end of a full year are all part of the package too as the days seem to race by!

In the long days and full endings of the school year,  I hope that I will still watch out for those gentle ladies in our midst, not forgetting to notice the  beauty all around and allowing time to receive and give love through the ordinary.