Seasons

Blog posts have been rattling around in my head and heart these days, but have not made it to paper.  For a while I fussed that I was not getting to write, but I am consciously letting go of my own expectations, embracing the reality that all of life has its seasons.  It is important for me learn to release the pressures even of things that are enjoyable and good in my life.  Those posts will get written and I will return to regular blogging as it is something that is fruitful and life-giving for me, but for now I am fully embracing other parts of life.

 June is full of celebrations and endings in our home.  For our family, our numbers have become larger again as older children are coming and going.  For our children by adoption the celebrations of even wonderful beginnings and endings with more people in and out often brings up those old feelings of abandonment and painful transitions.  Bedtime cuddles and long talks are more important than ever.

The garden and late evening walks are added delights of this season.  We are gathering many fruits of our labours these days with meals of fresh broccoli, peas, and raspberries picked for breakfast.

I hold the rooted groundedness of the weather, outdoors and varied seasons in my heart with thankfulness.  I want my heart and soul to be ever listening and responsive to those changing calls and whispers from God that are unique to each season and time.  Some seasons are downright hard to endure.  Others we hope will never end.  Don't let go of those ever-changing cycles that bring growth, pain and joy.  Live fully in each, keeping your ears and hearts open always!

Go For It!

Today we had a wonderful celebration at my work as one of my colleagues is following her heart and with her family including two small children is heading off to begin a new life adventure in Australia.  Bit by bit, day by day, she has followed her heart to start this new chapter of her life.  It has not always been an easy journey and there have been many discouraging parts to her story, but finally one big hurdle has been crossed.  She has sold her home, quit her work and they are flying off next week.
Her predecessor in that job is also following her heart and is in the middle of her own adventure as she has just sent off all the papers to adopt her daughter from Africa.  She too has not had an easy path, but has recently taken some significant steps forward as she moves forward in faith on a different kind of dream.  Today I held both these wonderful women in my heart and allowed their journeys and faith to inspire me.

Life is not always about dreams.  Sometimes there are long periods when we really may not have any special goals or aspirations on this journey.  We are simply hiking along, doing the best we can in the ordinary.  One person I also work with has dreams of his own, but is also really good at encouraging the rest of us.  Not a birthday or event goes by without significant celebration and joy expressed in cards, gifts, and banners draped across desks.  Delighting in bringing joy to those daily events that life brings is in itself a big part of the adventure of life.

When those possible and not so possible dreams bubble up in our hearts it is important to recognize them and step forward.  At first the steps forward may seem insignificant.  They may be as ordinary as celebrating the birthday of a colleague!  Sometimes the steps may seem like they go backwards in disappointment.  Keep the faith.  Go for your dreams.

For all those in the midst of adoption journeys, be encouraged!  There are many steps forward and backward both in the process of adopting and also in the process of parenting!  Do not loose your passion for your kids.  It is a hard but most wonderful journey. Even the stepping out to try is enough.  Wait for whatever will be, while taking a step at a time forward.

Life is not perfect.  Dreams may seem small or big.  Listen.  Respond.  Receive.  Love.  Go for those stirrings in your heart in faith and trust!

Refreshing!

One of my daughters has arrived home from journeys afar and as I went to snuggle with her before bed tonight she was busy refreshing her computer as she felt sure that I would have written a new blog post.  Somehow she felt she could not access it!  Even though she is now home here with me she wanted to know what I was thinking and thought the blog might expand on my thoughts these days.  She gave me lots of possible blog posts that she has been envisioning.  My reaction to chronic illnesses around here, feelings about various children, weekends away, my work and the fullness of these days were all possible insights that daughter had hoped my non-existant blog post might reveal.  I suggested that maybe it might be a good idea for her to write my blog as she has so many things she is hoping to discover.

Refreshing her computer did not pull up a new blog post.  I think it is time to push the refresh button on my heart and mind!  Refresh and release! There are almost too many thoughts and concerns rolling around in my crowded heart and mind these days.   I have not known where to begin in blog writing!

Though I do email and text various other children away on adventures, I know they want more than knowing I miss them.  They all want details and thoughts.

For now,  I am on refresh and release mode.  Thanks for reminding me of the need to regularly push that refresh button, dear daughter.  I so quickly slip back into piling up the concerns and busyness of daily life in my heart and mind.  We all need to push that button,  have a good laugh and release the clogging fullness of our days.

Tonight I will refresh.  It is too late for a good walk, but I will let go of all those things to do and consciously relax, renewing perspective in quietness and trust, walking forward in love and mercy.
Lately I have made many many trips driving along the almost overflowing banks of the Fraser River.  I pray that I may be increasingly like that flowing river, full to overflowing of nutrient rich refreshing waters of love.  I will imagine those waters tonight, flowing out to enrich and send love to so many.

That Lady

Another of our favourite people is the central character in Charlotte Zolotow's book, "I Know a Lady."  In the story a little girl feels loved by the lady in her neighbourhood who quietly and gently gardens, picks zinnias and makes cookies for special occasions.  In the rhythm of days the Lady savours and shares the ordinary delights around her.  She is an inspiration to me.

These days I am delighting in the longer sunny days.  I am spending time in the garden, and each evening my husband and I go for a walk around our neighbourhood, listening to the birds, smelling the fresh mown fields,  and enjoying the vibrance of this season.   Our garden is already full and our dinners include lots of fresh broccoli, snap peas and abundant swiss chard.

Life is full for the children as the activities of their year ripen to the final harvest of speech contests, class parties, piano recitals and dance shows.  This week is our local track and field for a couple of my athletes too.  Like the lady in her garden, I am wanting to preserve gentle routine and peace and calm in the midst of these full harvest days.  Chaos and tiredness at the end of a full year are all part of the package too as the days seem to race by!

In the long days and full endings of the school year,  I hope that I will still watch out for those gentle ladies in our midst, not forgetting to notice the  beauty all around and allowing time to receive and give love through the ordinary.

Artifacts to Treasure

One of our favourite expeditions is to our nearest big city, Vancouver.  We have some favourite traditions.  One is to have a meal at our favourite Chinese restaurant, Won More, by the beach near Stanley Park.  We watch the dinner cooked before our eyes by the friendly cook who has served us for over fifteen years there, and then afterwards we migrate downstairs to a great ice cream shop where we mix gummy bears and the like with our favourite ice-creams.  The adults among us get a coffee at the nearby Starbucks before we wander down to the sand to watch the sunset and a lovely walk along the seawall.

Last weekend we visited the UBC Anthropology museum before our feast.  I had not been there for years and our younger crew had never been experienced the great treasures there.  One of my daughters is of First Nations Heritage and has many relatives who are artists from Alert Bay.  We have all been to Alert Bay and so it was especially interesting for us to learn more about the great works of art from both Haida Gwaii and Alert Bay.  There are many interesting similarities and differences that we discovered for the first time.

I particularly respect and am inspired by the totem poles.  They stand tall and straight, giving signs and stories to inspire and treasure.  Today I thought afresh that there are ways that we are all like those totem poles.  We are an intertwining of different influences and stories and images that sometimes take a lifetime to fully recognize and uncover.  As I saw the beaver in relationship with the orca who was in turn held by the bear and topped by the raven, I thought of all these characters represented in my own life.

Like those poles may we too stand tall, expressing the unique intertwinings of all of who we are and helping those around us to similarly grow in their own special expression of life in all the parts of their being.  The carving style for each of us has special characteristics.  Some of the cuts in our souls are deep and definite.  Others are more superficial but still give impact of important sensations to our feel.  We are drawn to different characters and have been impacted by many experiences, both welcomed and endured that intertwine to create the special treasures of ourselves.

The Lupines are Blooming!

Colourful lupines have been delighting my soul these days.  I love their blue, pink and purple shades scattered across hillsides often in the most unlikely and ordinary places.  They are particularly special to me and my children because they remind us of a very special story written by Barbara Cooney about  Miss Rumphius, the lupine lady who wanted to make the world more beautiful and decided to scatter lupine seed as she wandered the roadsides of her home.  Miss Rumphius is one of our favourite people.  She and the lupines inspire us to also find ways to make the world just that little bit more beautiful.  For us we are beginning by noticing the things that are already beautiful as it would be quite a waste of so much beauty if we didn't take the time to notice!  We all need encouragement to recognize  those delicate flowers that so easily get squished as we walk over them and those ordinary acts of kindness that sometimes go unnoticed.  I need reminders to each day remember that this is a special day to scatter those seeds of love and care that do make the world just that little bit more beautiful.  Let's not wait for the inspiration of just the big things, but listen and respond to those quiet murmurings of ideas for the little things of beauty to recognize and to scatter today!

The Porch

We have some neighbours who spend hours sitting on their wide and spacious front porch, quietly taking in all the comings and goings of all the rest of us.  Sometimes I wonder if they count the number of times I pass by their home on my various trips to take kids to activities.  I hope maybe they do notice us all and send us their blessings in our busyness.  They have certainly become part of our daily community and I do appreciate the way they are to me the steady watching sentinels of our neighbourhood.

These days I have also been sitting quietly more often, in what I call front porch times of my heart.  After periods of significant internal rearranging it has been important for me to quietly sit and let life settle in my heart.  In days and years gone by I never sat quietly doing nothing.  I would always have a book or some craft in hand.  I would be taking a break between tasks to be done.   It has been wonderful now to slow right down and enjoy being.  I am consciously cultivating empty time in these days.  So often the bowl of my life has been so full of so much striving and activity that there is no space for receiving and listening to the surprises of God.  I want to be an open receptacle of God's love, letting go of my own plans and ego.  I imagine a beautifully shaped open bowl with a life giving blue-green glaze in my heart.  It has been emptied of all the nicknacks of life and is beautiful as is, whole and full of God's love.  There is room for others there.

In the front porch times of my heart I am quietly watching and observing, all the while praying for those who pass by and stop to chat.  These times are not limited to sitting on an actual front porch.  They are those quiet moments when I take a little longer to empty the dryer and quietly muse as I gather the warm clothes in my arms.  They are moments spent for an extra few minutes  sitting in the car after dropping the kids off somewhere.  They are intentional spaces of time savoured and gently noticed in those extra minutes in the ordinary run of life.

Even though it may look externally like I am busy with one thing or another these days, inside I am sitting quietly on the front porch of my heart with my open blue bowl cradled in my hands.  I can practice these moments all day long, praying and gently holding out God's love to all who pass by, a watching and loving sentinel in the places of my world.