Closed without closure

It has been a challenging few weeks for my crew as they have been in and out of school with chaos and little control.  Now as they were preparing to be finished for the summer, the schools are closed and they are left hanging.
One daughter has had to return for provincial exams without all the teacher support that is so vital for her.  Another missed all the graduation ceremonies as she completed elementary school and is heading off to high school.  The kids in our area all go to different high schools and so my daughter will be leaving most of her friends as she goes forward again!  There have been no goodbyes and healthy transitions.

Goodbyes are often underestimated in our fast moving world.  For our children who have been wrenched with no control from one place to another many times in their short lives this time of schools closing without thoughtful process and closure has been very difficult;  a trigger of the many previous changes that did not include healthy grieving, celebration and remembering.

Sometimes we feel that our presence in the lives of another may not be important.  Always assume that it is.  Develop healthy ways to transition and to move in and out of lives with integrity and honour.  Especially with our children from the turmoil of adoption, be aware of the many dangling threads of their lives.  Be intentional about ways to help integrate those threads in the present weaving of their lives.

Even though we have been through similar situations before, I am always surprised that these predictable stressors and triggers such as schools closed suddenly really do cause huge emotional upset in my children that are expressed in different ways.  The weak foundation that is a result of the trauma of all the events surrounding adoption takes a long time to strengthen.  In our family these days we are trying to be creative about ways we can help bring emotional closure in this most unpredictable end to the school year.  One more day of provincials for Grade 10 daughter and then we will celebrate!  I always remember how God told the Israelite people to place stones of remembrance in the Jordan River.  As they looked back and could see the stones the people remembered God's care and goodness to them.  We will go searching for stones to place in our garden to bring memories of all that this school year has been.   Remembering both the good and the not so good!  Honouring it all.  Closing this chapter as we open the new.