The word "deserving" is one of those multilayered words for me. I often have not been quite sure what to do about the word and concept of deserving.
The dictionary definition of the adjective "deserving" is simply and clearly to be worthy of being treated in a particular way. The verb to "deserve" does give the idea of doing something or having qualities worthy of. We can do actions that lead to deserving of a treat or some perk. In our essential being, however, we can be described by the adjective as deserving or worthy people as we are; separate from our actions.
The reason I am pondering the idea of deserving today is because yesterday one of my daughters asserted that she does not feel she deserves to have a family and to be loved. Somewhere deep in her heart she has never actually felt deserving of love and care and family. I know, too, that for many people who long to be healed, the feeling that they do not deserve emotional freedom and healing is often a major stumbling block to health.
The concept of deserving sometimes gets confused on the other extreme by a sense of entitlement. So often in our culture we hear people asserting that they deserve to go on that exotic trip or to have some extravagant home renovation. Furthermore, sometimes our actions and behaviours lead us to negative consequences that are not altogether undeserving!
Deep in our hearts, we are all carefully treasured and created by God just as we are. We do not have to do anything to get that love. I am sad that my daughter and many others have never known that unconditional love from birth. Somehow they have missed that crucial link to feeling a deserving and worthwhile person by their very being. We are all deeply deserving of God's love and the love of family. Easter is all about God even dying and living again in order to connect with His people in love. We are all deserving and worthy of love by God, others and, sometimes most difficultly, by ourselves.
I am working hard with myself and my children to not get the deep heart deserving muddled up with our often challenging behaviours and actions. Again, there have been actual brain changes for some of my children who have never known what it means to be deserving and treasured from birth. Lack of care and nuturing love especially in the first year of life leaves an empty hole in our children's hearts. In turn they try to fill that hole with all sorts of temporary things which are often not healthy.
My dear daughter, you are deeply deserving of love from us your family, from God and from yourself. In your very being and wonderful creation you are deserving of much love and joy and peace of heart. God's love and deserving goes beyond our actions. Nothing can separate us from that love. The challenge is that you have never known that love. It is my prayer that bit by bit, day by day, we might together help you come to feel the connection that you are most worthy and deserving just because you are you!
The reason I am pondering the idea of deserving today is because yesterday one of my daughters asserted that she does not feel she deserves to have a family and to be loved. Somewhere deep in her heart she has never actually felt deserving of love and care and family. I know, too, that for many people who long to be healed, the feeling that they do not deserve emotional freedom and healing is often a major stumbling block to health.
The concept of deserving sometimes gets confused on the other extreme by a sense of entitlement. So often in our culture we hear people asserting that they deserve to go on that exotic trip or to have some extravagant home renovation. Furthermore, sometimes our actions and behaviours lead us to negative consequences that are not altogether undeserving!
Deep in our hearts, we are all carefully treasured and created by God just as we are. We do not have to do anything to get that love. I am sad that my daughter and many others have never known that unconditional love from birth. Somehow they have missed that crucial link to feeling a deserving and worthwhile person by their very being. We are all deeply deserving of God's love and the love of family. Easter is all about God even dying and living again in order to connect with His people in love. We are all deserving and worthy of love by God, others and, sometimes most difficultly, by ourselves.
I am working hard with myself and my children to not get the deep heart deserving muddled up with our often challenging behaviours and actions. Again, there have been actual brain changes for some of my children who have never known what it means to be deserving and treasured from birth. Lack of care and nuturing love especially in the first year of life leaves an empty hole in our children's hearts. In turn they try to fill that hole with all sorts of temporary things which are often not healthy.
My dear daughter, you are deeply deserving of love from us your family, from God and from yourself. In your very being and wonderful creation you are deserving of much love and joy and peace of heart. God's love and deserving goes beyond our actions. Nothing can separate us from that love. The challenge is that you have never known that love. It is my prayer that bit by bit, day by day, we might together help you come to feel the connection that you are most worthy and deserving just because you are you!
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