Welcoming Adoption!

As the year comes to a close I feel tired and unfinished.  I always long to be steady and to finish my years well.  One of the things that I have been consciously facing this year has been the nagging feelings of "never enough" that have been with me for most of my life.  I am feeling more free of those feelings today, thankful for all that is.  Christmas, with its busy materialism and excess of all things good and not so good has brought back a few of those nagging doubts.  I welcome those feelings as an encouragement to keep on going in seeking God's fulfillment and way for me.  As much as adoption has brought turmoil and stress to me and my family, it has been a great joy and gift to me over these last years.  We adopted in 2006, 2008 and 2010.  Not this year.  Still there are children in our close circle who are available and longing to be adopted, but for various reasons they are not ours to formally adopt.  This year has brought adoption joy and sadness in my circle of friends.  Most recently a wonderful Christmas surprise miracle adopted baby visited our home with great rejoicing.  Other dear friends are waiting for that miracle of adoption to be theirs.  I know several children who continue to hope for their own families too.

For my family, I do not think that formal adoption of more children would be wise.  Still, I want to always welcome adoption.  Adoption means so much more to me than the formal adoption of one or two or more children.  It is an attitude of open embrace in our lives.  God invites each and every one of us to be His adopted children, forever part of His family.  We can be open to adopting others into our families and circle in ways that are not formal, but nevertheless equally as important and real.   Caring and committed community is rare in our culture where we are often transient and disconnected.  Even in our churches a culture of love and community is often lacking.  So many of us feel alone and isolated for much of the time.

As this year closes and a new year unfolds, I am holding adoption in my heart.  I want to be still and to welcome all those opportunities to both be adopted and to adopt in the year to come.  I want to have a receptive and welcoming heart to those around me that can enfold me as a daughter, sister and mother.  I want to see those for whom I can enfold and encourage and adopt in my heart in loving community and relationship.  I do trust that as we seek God and rest even in His most quiet and unassuming ways of the little things in life, that adoption will continue forever in my heart and family.  I want to increasingly rest in His arms and the arms of those that come my way, extending my arms to others too.  May we all enlarge our view of welcoming adoption.  We all need one another in love and care and commitment!  May this new year be blessed in adoption for us all!

Elisabeth

After the excitement of new birth, the ordinary reality of life quickly takes over.  Mary pondered all the events surrounding the birth of her son, Jesus, holding them in her heart, but quickly life became complicated.  She and Joseph were warned of Herod's jealousy of a newborn king and his mass murder of baby boys.  They had to leave the meager supports that they already had to become refugees heading for the safety of Egypt.  The miracle birth was not an easy birth or an easy road in any way.  In fact, it brought suffering and struggle that is not foreign to so many in our world today.

The aftermath of Christmas also similarly brings an element of post Christmas challenge and depression for many.  Often our resources of energy, time and money are depleted.  We need to pick up our bags and get going again, often in very ordinary ways.  While Mary magnified God in her heart, often Christmas magnifies both the good and the bad in our own lives.  It brings up both the pain and the sorrows of life in ways that are perhaps more easy to skirt at other times of the year.

Today I found my heart wandering back to the elderly new parents, Elisabeth and  Zechariah and baby John.  Certainly they were holding young Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus in their hearts as they escaped to safety.  Elisabeth had been such an encouragement to Mary in those early days, deeply understanding the miracle that had come to them both.  She would not forget.  She would pray and continue to encourage throughout Mary's life as together they had shared this amazing time of wonder deep in the wombs of their being.

Twenty three years ago  in my mid thirties, I gave birth to a miracle child.  I have always so appreciated Elisabeth and her incredible hidden support of Mary and so we named our first born child Elisabeth.  By the deep grace of God, our Elisabeth has been a hidden support to me.  She is a "glass full to overflowing" person who always sees and remembers the positive in others.  This morning as I was tired and a tad discouraged in the aftermath of a full and good Christmas, my Elisabeth deeply encouraged me.  Together we baked and cooked and talked.  She encouraged me to stop fussing over those things that I cannot change and to move forward into the day, leaving behind regret, mistakes and those things that I have not done as I would have liked.  Especially when my own resources are depleted I fall into old jealousies and guilt over things I cannot change.  Elisabeth encouraged me to go forward positively, reaching into the possibilities of this new day.  I am off to take the dog for a walk and will even dip into a book today, consciously and actively leaving the past and post Christmas discouragements behind.  Thank you to my Elisabeth, for your encouragement and love today.  I pray that there might be encouraging and praying Elisabeths for you in these ordinary days ahead.

Treasure

Christmas day brings treasure. There are the treasures of gifts given and received.  Expressions of love and care and of knowing one another so that just the right gifts are given.  There are the treasures of a day together.  Time with family and friends.  Treasures of good food.  Delectable treats.

A treasure for me this Christmas is this painting by my daughter, Rebecca.  The colour is dyed into the canvas so that even the artist material is an integral part of the painting.  Stitches are also sewn into the fabric.  Within the painting, hidden among all the other structures is one special home.  The treasure of this painting is in its whole, canvas and all.  It is subtle, but no less a treasure.

Don't forget those hidden treasures within us all.  Like this painting, the treasures may be hidden away behind clutter.  There are areas of our lives and hearts that are tucked away and waiting to emerge.  Perhaps dreams held since we were children.  Parts of us that are gifts deeply ingrained and stitched into the fabric of our being that have not yet been discovered or developed.  Old barns tucked away deep in the hills of our hearts were there are the seeds of new beginnings.  Love and light emerging in our souls.  The treasure of God's Spirit there deep within us but not yet recognized or fully appreciated.

On this day those thousands of years ago there was a new beginning.  A new birth of good news of great joy that is for us all.  That birth was not immediately recognized.  It happened in a remote and ordinary place.  Today that new birth is within the ordinary places of us all.  Behold.  Look carefully within. Find that missing present and unwrap it!  Learn to recognize its stirrings and cries.  May the child of God be born in our hearts today.  May he be there in the manger of our souls.  May we call Him by name and delight in His presence.  May we magnify Him and hold the reality of his being as our greatest treasure this day.

I wish each unique and special person who somehow has stumbled to this place a most blessed Christmas Day.

The Bridge

Bridges are essential in the place where I live, next to the mighty Fraser River, the vital and rich link in our province.  In the last year there have been some significant shifts in my community as three new bridges have been created. They are actually beautiful structures that link and facilitate presence and community.  One of the bridges in particular has opened up some wonderful links for our town.  I have been surprised  by how one bridge can bring such a huge change in perspective and community.  The bridge has two huge bronze eagles flying high in its structure.  They always remind me of the prophet Isaiah's encouragement that "Those who hope in God will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles and will run and not grow weary and walk and not be faint."  (Isaiah 40:31).  That bridge has significantly changed my perspective and patterns of travel and does in fact lift up my soul in its beauty and wonder whenever I cross it.

I have always been encouraged and refreshed by this painting of the "Bridge over the Water Lily Pond" by Claude Monet.  It reminds me to open up my perspective and to be receptive to the changes that bridges can bring.

The birth and life of Jesus is God's bridge to us.  How many gods come down to our level to communicate their character as one of us?   It is like us becoming an ant so that we can bridge the gaps of our differences to communicate with ants.  There are so many criticisms of the tight narrowness and restrictions and exclusiveness of the Christian way.  I totally agree that often us Christians become mired in tight legalism in order to somehow cushion ourselves from the harsh gray realities of life.  As I look at Christ's life, he actually moved freely out of  the legalistic and narrow views of those around him who wanted to live within safe boundaries of protection.  He broke down the walls and invited people to a larger and more inclusive way.  I am always so encouraged to look to the open and inviting bridge that God gave us so that we can really know Him.  Jesus is that bridge.  I want to openly know who he is so that I can know God.  He was a person of history.  An amazing person.  In this Monet painting we cannot clearly see where the bridge leads. My perspective is also more on my own side of the bridge, but increasingly I want to go with Jesus on that journey over the bridge to know God.  Christmas is all about how Jesus has opened our range and perspective to be the bridge for us to enter into relationship with the God of all Life.  I have choice about whether I will cross over.  There is risk and adventure and change.  Christ is the gift of a bridge for us to travel in relationship with God this Christmas!

The Quarter

Sometimes  as we travel among the closed-in boxes of life we have red balloon moments where we rise above all the tight angled constrictions.   Paul Klee depicts a breakaway moment in his "Red Balloon."  Yesterday I had a joyful highlight in the Cooper's Food store parking lot.  Any of you who are still having to make treks to the stores have probably faced the parking lot challenges these days.  The whole of our town must be out and about in their cars.  Everyone is on the prowl for a car leaving their place.  Usually there is a line up for each spot as the cars jockey for position.  After securing a treasured place in the parking lot, I finally made it out to get my grocery buggy.  With the encouragement of my kids I have moved to a rather small purse in these last years.  I was known for my suitcase like purses for way too long.  Still, I try to cram everything I could possibly need in any emergency into my now small purse.  I stood at the buggies, purse overflowing, trying to find a quarter.  The change part of my purse is tiny, and my squished fingers kept pulling out everything but a quarter.  I was focusing on not dropping anything important when a voice asked if I would like her quarter.  She was a young woman with a little boy in tow.  She reached toward me and held out the quarter.  "Don't worry about the change!"  She had a gentle smile.  I gratefully accepted her gift.  Her kind generosity of spirit  deeply touched me.   It was a holy moment to be treasured.

Our most significant gifts to one another come from the heart.  We can touch even those that we do not know with our kindness.  I want to listen to my heart and watch for the opportunities to naturally express goodness.  In midst of my scurrying around trying to make everything just right, I hope I can listen to that still small voice and walk in the way of gentle love.  For me, that quarter was an important part of my Christmas.  I cannot do everything, but I can keep hold of the kindness of my heart and let go of perfection.  I can follow my heart in those little but significant expressions of love.  There is always enough time for what is most important.  Thanks so much to my beautiful young woman who shared her quarter with me!  Your kindness lifted my heart in a red balloon moment that I will not forget.

The Noble Fir

We did dig up our Christmas tree.  It reminds me of this Twisted Pine by Tom Thompson, one of the artists of the Canadian Group of Seven.  For our Christmas tree discovery expedition we donned our gum boots and pulled out the shovels, root cutters and even the axe and a hatchet and headed off in two full cars.  Our first stop was the place that we went many years ago when the kids were young.  Our Lizzie had won the Christmas light counting contest there two years in a row.  It was at the end of a long dreary country road, but this year there were no bright lights and hot chocolate and only the occasional random tree poking up from the field.  Certainly no activity there.  The cell phones were buzzing from car to car as we had to decide what next.  I headed one way and then turned around.  Second car was frustrated, not liking to be a follower at the best of times.  The signs for Christmas trees once plentiful seemed sparse this year.  Finally we saw a sign and went to see.  A warm crackling fire and a friendly man welcomed us.  It was their first year selling trees.  A full acre of tree of all shapes and sizes.  We unpacked the car and went looking.  There were douglas firs, standing straight and strong, trimmed and ready for their place in Christmas. Hidden at the back through some muddy puddles and off the beaten track were the noble firs.  Most were small and perhaps not in line to be dug up this year.  Nevertheless, they were the trees that captured the hearts of my crew.  There was a  mounting enthusiasm among everyone to go for one of the misshapen and small but character full trees.  A couple of the younger girls ran back to the owner man to ask if it would be possible to take one of those trees planned for years to come.   "Any tree!"  were his words.  It did not take long for our two men to dig up the tree.  Unlike any other tree we have had in the past, it came up easily.  My heart leapt.  I was delighted that perhaps the tree might be able to be nicely potted.  This year I might not have a huge wheelbarrow in my living room throughout Christmas!

Twisted fir is our first surprise for this Christmas.  The reaction of all our guests is a gulp and a smile.  "Is this tree big enough for your big family?"  "Hmm.  A different tree for this year."  "What about all your ornaments?  They won't fit!"

Surprise tree is our noble tree.  The ornaments that are important will fit.  It is more than enough.  Christmas does not have to be excessive.  There is beauty in the simple and small and misshapen.  It is reflects our gentle and quiet hearts  and  is full of unique wonder and joy.  This year we embrace the tree found and brought home on the road less travelled.

Be Encouraged!

Sometimes it feels like there is chaos all around.  I  feel broken and not able to be and do all that I would like.  This painting by Piet Mondrian, The Ginger Jar, encourages me.  There is such beauty and stability in that rather flawed ginger jar sitting among the confusion.  It challenges me to be grounded and to stand firm in the reality of who I am.  I want to be still and full like this most radiant and firm ginger jar, not denying my own cracks, but letting light and life shine through them.