One of the central principles of my work as a physiotherapist is to help strengthen my little children from their cores. Trunk strength is central to being able to move. We all need strength in both our abdominals and back muscles. We need to be able to rotate our trunks and smoothly shift between flexion, extension and rotation in our cores.
As I have been reflecting on our own unique life stories, I have been reminded of the central importance of our core being as people. Today in a staff meeting I looked around the table at each of my colleagues. Though I have worked with many of them for a long time, I actually know very little about the details of each of their life journeys. Even so, I feel like I deeply know and care for each person. We are a diverse group representing different nationalities, faiths and experiences. Some of us are married, others have children, some have travelled widely, and others have not. What I appreciate about each person are not the specific things that they have done with their lives, but rather who they are at their core. The qualities of love, gentleness, thoughtfulness, joy, patience, kindness, and goodness are what really shines through each of these fine people, regardless of the actual things they have done or not done. I may not know all the details of their lives, but I do so value the qualities at their cores. These colleagues of mine move with grace through their cores of kindness and love. I am reminded to focus on what is really lasting. Regardless of what our actual stories hold, may we ourselves be strong at our cores in the qualities that really last and resonate in care and compassion and love with those around us.
Tuesday, 20 November 2012
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Our Own Stories
It has been a weekend of stories told for me. A friend came over on Friday evening, and answering a question asked by one of our girls, she told us all the story of her life. We all sat for at least an hour, entranced by the fullness of life with her unique joys and struggles and fascinating adventures of life. Yesterday our youngest four girls went to an Adoption Education Seminar where they had been invited to tell people considering adoption about their unique stories. Some of the girls have done this before, but this time they all wanted a part in sharing their parts of their special life stories. I am always sensitive to whether the children want to be a part of such a gathering. Sometimes they do choose not to come and other times to come just to listen. Yesterday I was impressed at how empowering the ability to communicate their own stories was for them. I was also struck afresh at how interesting and significant is each life and each special story. Somehow all the challenges and struggles that I have as a parent melted away for that special time as we together joined in the listening and perspectives of my four young women. We all have an important and signficant part to play in the whole human story. No matter how small and insignificant we feel, our stories are full and rich and of infinite help in the telling to others.
Many years ago when I was a mountain guide in the wild coastal mountains here in British Columbia, each meal would be a special time for one of our number to tell their life story. I am encouraged today to listen and facilitate the telling of our stories more often. They can be told in many different ways with different emphases and ways of telling. Our lives are full of the words of our own stories. Our stories are fascinating works of art! They are full of important wisdom for us to open and hold with joy and interest. May we all more readily turn to one another to really hear and appreciate our unique and special life journeys. No matter what our story holds, each one of us is infinitely important and special and vital to the larger whole of us human beings. It is important to acknowledge in the telling how truly amazing is each of our own selves, reflected in our lives lived and hearts felt and shared.
Many years ago when I was a mountain guide in the wild coastal mountains here in British Columbia, each meal would be a special time for one of our number to tell their life story. I am encouraged today to listen and facilitate the telling of our stories more often. They can be told in many different ways with different emphases and ways of telling. Our lives are full of the words of our own stories. Our stories are fascinating works of art! They are full of important wisdom for us to open and hold with joy and interest. May we all more readily turn to one another to really hear and appreciate our unique and special life journeys. No matter what our story holds, each one of us is infinitely important and special and vital to the larger whole of us human beings. It is important to acknowledge in the telling how truly amazing is each of our own selves, reflected in our lives lived and hearts felt and shared.
Thursday, 15 November 2012
Conflicts Erupting
Conflict is not just in the remembering. It is alive and well today. I am deeply sad as I hear about the escalating conflicts in the Middle East again today. My heart and prayers are with those around the world who are suffering and in the midst of the pain of fighting and upheaval. There is plenty of that here in my world too. It is not just limited to the obvious suicides, divorce and fighting. Conflict erupts in my heart too. Frustration and anger often lurk around the corners of my soul, jumping out unannounced over both big and small triggers. Sometimes days and even weeks go by with no obvious flare ups in our home until even some small issue brings forth challenging anger.
The Psalms in the Bible record the full range of our emotions, both those desired and those unwanted. It is healthy for me to pray them with the multitudes who have gone before, acknowledging my own feelings and expressing them to God unedited. Some people have complained about the more gruesome expressions of pain in the psalms, but for me I am glad that they are alongside the gentle stillness and love of others. We are created with a full palette of expression and cannot turn our heads from the conflict beside the love. Tonight I read Psalm 77 and pray for all those in the full grip of conflict who feel that God has "slammed the door on compassion." May "His road lead through the sea and the mighty waters to a pathway no one knew was there!" May that pathway lead to peace and love in some small way for our suffering friends tonight.
The Psalms in the Bible record the full range of our emotions, both those desired and those unwanted. It is healthy for me to pray them with the multitudes who have gone before, acknowledging my own feelings and expressing them to God unedited. Some people have complained about the more gruesome expressions of pain in the psalms, but for me I am glad that they are alongside the gentle stillness and love of others. We are created with a full palette of expression and cannot turn our heads from the conflict beside the love. Tonight I read Psalm 77 and pray for all those in the full grip of conflict who feel that God has "slammed the door on compassion." May "His road lead through the sea and the mighty waters to a pathway no one knew was there!" May that pathway lead to peace and love in some small way for our suffering friends tonight.
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Attention Seeking
Attention seeking behaviours can be dramatic and excessive and incredibly creative. Somehow in spite of their wide ranging scope and intrigue, they always seem to have a bad reputation. In fact, most often they illicit the exact opposite of what they are seeking! With great joy, I am now welcoming the love of attention that we all so desire. I am learning to both give and receive attention with more reckless abandon and enjoyment. As I am allowing myself more loving attention from both myself and others, I am hoping to grow in paying more attention to those around me. It is not always easy to decipher the cries for attention in the crazy behaviours of both myself and others. Sometimes it means standing still for a time. Long enough to really listen with both my ears and heart. Of course it is often much more complicated than it seems. Many of our kids have learned to effectively turn off their need for attention. The attention they got was either too painful or never enough. Sometimes the behaviours are so intermingled with a million different needs and it is hard to know where to start. It is hard to know how to give the right kind of attention.
One of my daughters was at a youth group event tonight where they washed one another's feet. It was fun and it sure felt good. The kids were learning to attend to one another in a new way!
I remember our skittish cat who really did want attention in spite of his independent and rugged exterior. Sometimes I need to slow down, pay attention, extend my love and my arms and wait. Learn how to pay attention in the different and unique ways that those around us need. Be patient and still of heart. Learn to accept attention myself and be generous in the attending to those around me. Instead of fighting the attention seeking behaviours, try meeting them at their core. I can watch a movie with our kids, take them for a treat, go for a walk, or surprise them with the gift of time together even if it is just going out for an hour doing errands with them alone. My husband makes the most mundane chores into times of adventure with individual kids. I can hardly wait for the times that it is my turn to be with him alone for his amazing adventure day expeditions! I am encouraged to extend and expand my attention in ways that are as varied, specific and creatively unique as those behaviours asking for it.
One of my daughters was at a youth group event tonight where they washed one another's feet. It was fun and it sure felt good. The kids were learning to attend to one another in a new way!
I remember our skittish cat who really did want attention in spite of his independent and rugged exterior. Sometimes I need to slow down, pay attention, extend my love and my arms and wait. Learn how to pay attention in the different and unique ways that those around us need. Be patient and still of heart. Learn to accept attention myself and be generous in the attending to those around me. Instead of fighting the attention seeking behaviours, try meeting them at their core. I can watch a movie with our kids, take them for a treat, go for a walk, or surprise them with the gift of time together even if it is just going out for an hour doing errands with them alone. My husband makes the most mundane chores into times of adventure with individual kids. I can hardly wait for the times that it is my turn to be with him alone for his amazing adventure day expeditions! I am encouraged to extend and expand my attention in ways that are as varied, specific and creatively unique as those behaviours asking for it.
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
The Burning Bush
I love the colours of fall. When we first moved here, I carefully planted and rearranged our garden so that there would be joy and colour and expression for each season. Some trees and shrubs are particularly full of interest and bring delights for several seasons. One of my favourites is a Paperbark maple tree that I planted right up close to my kitchen window. The peeling bark is interesting and attractive all through the year, but adds special flavour in the winter when so much has retreated in the cold and wet. It is also full of radiant colour now. It's leaves bring orange and reds next to a constantly changing Persian parrotia tree with long slender branches reaching out with abandon in all directions. Over the last few weeks the parrotia has transformed from a mass of green to purplish red, to deep orange and now to bright yellow. As I finish up the dishes and the never ending round of cooking and kitchen clean up I am reminded of Moses and the burning bush. In the midst of our daily lives, there are sacred reminders that God is present right in the heart of it all. I want to live in wonder and expectation for His presence in the ordinary.
Monday, 12 November 2012
Words
Words are powerful. As the years go on and technology develops, it seems that words are increasing both in number and power. Through our words on the internet, words draw us deeply into relationship. More and more relationships start through words alone. I have made a good friend solely through reading a blog and responding. Our actual person to person meeting was a delight. Through words alone I felt that I knew her well enough to make a significant journey to visit with her in person. My judgement made only through words did not disappoint me.
This same friend has recently written that she has been given a Bible for an early Christmas present and is now beginning to read it. The Word of God. Christ identifies Himself as The Word in the beginning of the book of John. Word in relationship with the Living God and the Spirit and then in turn with us, the receiving readers. I deeply believe that the Word of God in the Bible is unique and that by some divine mystery it is the living breath and words of God, written in specific times of history by very human people. As Christ is God in human form, the Bible is with us for all time, relational and deeply ingrained with God's character. It is a way that God nourishes us humans. It is His letter of love and care to us. Somehow it also roots and grounds me and gives me a deep centering sense of my own place and story in the context of the whole human family story.
At the same time, I am well aware that the Bible is not easy to unpack and digest. Some people are drawn to read the Bible from cover to cover and emerge different people. As wonderful as that is, I think they are the exception.
I think of the children that I work with. Often feeding is not straightforward for them. It is hard to get the nourishment offered. Many of them have significant reflux. Acid refluxes up their esophagus, causing ulcering and irritation and severe pain after every feeding. Feeding must be done slowly and sensitively in small, frequent amounts and because of the pain it is not always a pleasant and bonding experience. Sometimes we as adults have been scarred by exclusive attitudes and hypocrisy of Christians over the years. Reading the Bible, though wonderful nourishment, can cause searing pain because of our wounds. Further, there are parts of the Bible that grate with our souls. They do not fit with our heart understanding of who we know God to be.
We need to go slow. Try to get the basics of the nourishment at first. Understand the undergirding principles before tackling the more difficult passages. Realize that life is full of extreme paradoxes, and that these are expressed in the Bible. Much of the Bible must be understood in the historical context in which it was written. Even among sincere Christians who believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God, there are differing views about many of the non central issues. Don't get bogged down in the controversial stuff that gives you reflux pain. Keep the big picture in mind and keep on going.
Often it is helpful to get help to know how to start reading the Bible. It is a relational book that lends itself to relational reading with others. Start with immersing yourself in the life of Jesus outlined in one of the first four books of the New Testament, either Luke, Matthew, Mark or John. Just read one. Maybe at this time of year with the birth of Jesus nearly here, try Luke, written by the gentle and understanding physician, who so clearly saw Jesus' care for the women, outcasts and sick. I like having a kid's picture Bible beside me so that I can really appreciate Jesus' interaction with those individuals around him. Keep the historical Jesus at the heart of all your reading. He says He is God in human form and He gives us the best understanding of who God is. He really was a real person in history and somehow I cannot turn my back on this fact and the reality of both His life and His words. Write down all your questions as you go. God encourages sincere questions, especially when we ask with love and care for others. God reminds me of us as earthly parents, seeking to help and guide our children. Sometimes they misunderstand our intentions and run away, rejecting our love. God does not give up seeking us and showing us His love. He is all about caring for us and restoring our relationship with him. Over and over the Bible outlines people veering away from God and His love bringing them back to both Himself and themselves and who they were fully created to be.
The rest of the books of the New Testament are primarily letters written to specific groups of people. Start with books of joy and love such as Philippians.
Then, at the same time, you can start the Old Testament in little chunks. The first books give an overarching sweep of the early history without any sugar coating! Essentially they give the stories of God creating and initiating relationship, people turning away, God wooing them back into relationship and restoring them, over and over again. Read some Psalms to feel the full expression of emotion that God welcomed from His people as they walk through life with God.
Many of us do read four different sections concurrently. It gives a balanced view that keeps the love of Christ central. There are many reading program outlines that can help with getting a balanced diet. Go slow. Chew and ruminate as you go. The Bible sometimes requires a different kind of more meditative reading than we are used to.
My friend, I may be presumptuous to say this, but to me I see our dynamic and relational God filling you so much already. Your gentle love and care for so many is an amazing expression of His Spirit shining through you. I love your expanding heart that reaches out in so many directions, even to try to more deeply understand God when it is scarey and unknown and from the outside may seem limiting. It says in one of my favourite Psalms, 139, that we are wonderfully made! God knows your loving and beautiful heart so well. It is at this time of the year that I think of the young Mary, soon to give birth to a baby who would bring love, relationship and belonging to the world. The angel told her, "Do not be afraid! The Lord is with you." Hold fast to the truth you already know in the book of Corinthians 13 where it talks about how love is central. God's love will lead and guide you in your reading and honest seeking. Be totally yourself. Pray for understanding. Ask others. Put the really hard stuff on the shelf to look at later when you have the general gist and are ready for really hard and tough food! There are some things we will never really "get" about God because He is not just some One we have created ourselves. He is Other and on some levels beyond our understanding. Ultimately I have to believe that He can be trusted on the basis of the main emphasis of His words and the reflection of Him in the deep hearts of all the people He has made. We see Him in all creation and everyone around us. I have been inspired by your love for your sister-in-law who gave you the Bible and who always seems so full of ever expanding love herself! You are not alone on this exciting journey of life and discovery. Let's all be open together, seeking wisdom and expanding understanding and most of all, deeper love and belonging together.
Words are powerful. May they continue to bring us more deeply into growing relationships and knowing of one another, ourselves, and even God. I love you. Thanks for including us all in your ever expanding heart journey.
This same friend has recently written that she has been given a Bible for an early Christmas present and is now beginning to read it. The Word of God. Christ identifies Himself as The Word in the beginning of the book of John. Word in relationship with the Living God and the Spirit and then in turn with us, the receiving readers. I deeply believe that the Word of God in the Bible is unique and that by some divine mystery it is the living breath and words of God, written in specific times of history by very human people. As Christ is God in human form, the Bible is with us for all time, relational and deeply ingrained with God's character. It is a way that God nourishes us humans. It is His letter of love and care to us. Somehow it also roots and grounds me and gives me a deep centering sense of my own place and story in the context of the whole human family story.
At the same time, I am well aware that the Bible is not easy to unpack and digest. Some people are drawn to read the Bible from cover to cover and emerge different people. As wonderful as that is, I think they are the exception.
I think of the children that I work with. Often feeding is not straightforward for them. It is hard to get the nourishment offered. Many of them have significant reflux. Acid refluxes up their esophagus, causing ulcering and irritation and severe pain after every feeding. Feeding must be done slowly and sensitively in small, frequent amounts and because of the pain it is not always a pleasant and bonding experience. Sometimes we as adults have been scarred by exclusive attitudes and hypocrisy of Christians over the years. Reading the Bible, though wonderful nourishment, can cause searing pain because of our wounds. Further, there are parts of the Bible that grate with our souls. They do not fit with our heart understanding of who we know God to be.
We need to go slow. Try to get the basics of the nourishment at first. Understand the undergirding principles before tackling the more difficult passages. Realize that life is full of extreme paradoxes, and that these are expressed in the Bible. Much of the Bible must be understood in the historical context in which it was written. Even among sincere Christians who believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God, there are differing views about many of the non central issues. Don't get bogged down in the controversial stuff that gives you reflux pain. Keep the big picture in mind and keep on going.
Often it is helpful to get help to know how to start reading the Bible. It is a relational book that lends itself to relational reading with others. Start with immersing yourself in the life of Jesus outlined in one of the first four books of the New Testament, either Luke, Matthew, Mark or John. Just read one. Maybe at this time of year with the birth of Jesus nearly here, try Luke, written by the gentle and understanding physician, who so clearly saw Jesus' care for the women, outcasts and sick. I like having a kid's picture Bible beside me so that I can really appreciate Jesus' interaction with those individuals around him. Keep the historical Jesus at the heart of all your reading. He says He is God in human form and He gives us the best understanding of who God is. He really was a real person in history and somehow I cannot turn my back on this fact and the reality of both His life and His words. Write down all your questions as you go. God encourages sincere questions, especially when we ask with love and care for others. God reminds me of us as earthly parents, seeking to help and guide our children. Sometimes they misunderstand our intentions and run away, rejecting our love. God does not give up seeking us and showing us His love. He is all about caring for us and restoring our relationship with him. Over and over the Bible outlines people veering away from God and His love bringing them back to both Himself and themselves and who they were fully created to be.
The rest of the books of the New Testament are primarily letters written to specific groups of people. Start with books of joy and love such as Philippians.
Then, at the same time, you can start the Old Testament in little chunks. The first books give an overarching sweep of the early history without any sugar coating! Essentially they give the stories of God creating and initiating relationship, people turning away, God wooing them back into relationship and restoring them, over and over again. Read some Psalms to feel the full expression of emotion that God welcomed from His people as they walk through life with God.
Many of us do read four different sections concurrently. It gives a balanced view that keeps the love of Christ central. There are many reading program outlines that can help with getting a balanced diet. Go slow. Chew and ruminate as you go. The Bible sometimes requires a different kind of more meditative reading than we are used to.
My friend, I may be presumptuous to say this, but to me I see our dynamic and relational God filling you so much already. Your gentle love and care for so many is an amazing expression of His Spirit shining through you. I love your expanding heart that reaches out in so many directions, even to try to more deeply understand God when it is scarey and unknown and from the outside may seem limiting. It says in one of my favourite Psalms, 139, that we are wonderfully made! God knows your loving and beautiful heart so well. It is at this time of the year that I think of the young Mary, soon to give birth to a baby who would bring love, relationship and belonging to the world. The angel told her, "Do not be afraid! The Lord is with you." Hold fast to the truth you already know in the book of Corinthians 13 where it talks about how love is central. God's love will lead and guide you in your reading and honest seeking. Be totally yourself. Pray for understanding. Ask others. Put the really hard stuff on the shelf to look at later when you have the general gist and are ready for really hard and tough food! There are some things we will never really "get" about God because He is not just some One we have created ourselves. He is Other and on some levels beyond our understanding. Ultimately I have to believe that He can be trusted on the basis of the main emphasis of His words and the reflection of Him in the deep hearts of all the people He has made. We see Him in all creation and everyone around us. I have been inspired by your love for your sister-in-law who gave you the Bible and who always seems so full of ever expanding love herself! You are not alone on this exciting journey of life and discovery. Let's all be open together, seeking wisdom and expanding understanding and most of all, deeper love and belonging together.
Words are powerful. May they continue to bring us more deeply into growing relationships and knowing of one another, ourselves, and even God. I love you. Thanks for including us all in your ever expanding heart journey.
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Remembering
Today is a day of remembering. Remembering those who gave their lives to help to bring freedom and peace to us. Remembering their sacrifice. Sacrifice not only in death, but in the living too. Those who lived with deep fear and anxiety for decades. Those who could not freely pursue their dreams for life. Families divided. Years of hunger and pain. Sacrifice of many of those who followed. Anxiety and emotional pain passed down through generations. I am thankful for those who have carried so much to help bring freedom.
I remember that the sacrifice in most of the world continues. Freedom and love are still elusive. I am thankful for those labouring to help bring freedom and peace all over the world on this day.
My own children remember in their own lives. Remember pain and hurt. Denial of love, freedom and health. Oppression and bondage. Anxiety and heavy loads of unmanageable emotion. Post traumatic stress suffered together with those we are specifically remembering today.
Memory is elusive and complicated. It is stored not only in several places in our brains, but also in our emotional responses and our bodies. More often than not, memory is not clear. Often in protection, our minds and bodies turn off the actual memories, but the pain, cold and dark linger, to pounce when we least expect them.
There is hope. The pain and negative emotion linked with memory can be healed. The process of healing is complicated and often needs those particularly skilled in the healing. Some adoptive parents I know have been frustrated in the time and pain of memories emerging. Sometimes the actual memories never come back. Conscious remembering is not needed for full healing. It is not a process that can be hurried in any of us. Seek out the healers among us to help guide. Turn to rituals and expressions of spirit, emotion and body that heal.
Remembrance Day is a ritual of that healing. Remember your own part in the sacrifice that is present in all of our lives. Our actual memories may not be clear or even historically accurate. That does not matter. Light a candle. Sit in that quiet minute. Give thanks for sacrifices made to bring love, peace and healing. Reflect and remember with honour, respect and love.
I remember that the sacrifice in most of the world continues. Freedom and love are still elusive. I am thankful for those labouring to help bring freedom and peace all over the world on this day.
My own children remember in their own lives. Remember pain and hurt. Denial of love, freedom and health. Oppression and bondage. Anxiety and heavy loads of unmanageable emotion. Post traumatic stress suffered together with those we are specifically remembering today.
Memory is elusive and complicated. It is stored not only in several places in our brains, but also in our emotional responses and our bodies. More often than not, memory is not clear. Often in protection, our minds and bodies turn off the actual memories, but the pain, cold and dark linger, to pounce when we least expect them.
There is hope. The pain and negative emotion linked with memory can be healed. The process of healing is complicated and often needs those particularly skilled in the healing. Some adoptive parents I know have been frustrated in the time and pain of memories emerging. Sometimes the actual memories never come back. Conscious remembering is not needed for full healing. It is not a process that can be hurried in any of us. Seek out the healers among us to help guide. Turn to rituals and expressions of spirit, emotion and body that heal.
Remembrance Day is a ritual of that healing. Remember your own part in the sacrifice that is present in all of our lives. Our actual memories may not be clear or even historically accurate. That does not matter. Light a candle. Sit in that quiet minute. Give thanks for sacrifices made to bring love, peace and healing. Reflect and remember with honour, respect and love.
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