May this prayer of Saint Patrick be the reality of Christ enfolding and within me, both protecting and emerging from my heart.
Sunday, 17 March 2013
Inspired by Saint Patrick
May this prayer of Saint Patrick be the reality of Christ enfolding and within me, both protecting and emerging from my heart.
Saturday, 16 March 2013
Surprise Journeys
Some months ago I fell in love with a painting created by a dear friend. The painting is of a friendly, tubby tugboat tied up securely to a dock. The painting brought me great joy and I do believe that it is a wonderful work of art. I considered buying it, even placing a deposit on it. Somewhere deep in my soul, I felt that I needed to let that painting go as I wondered if it might have its own special journey. In a few short months, indeed my happy painting has begun quite a fascinating journey of its own. It has been highlighted specially in several exhibitions and has been used as a teaser for another. None of that would have happened if I had bought it those months ago. I think my painting has a unique purpose and journey unfolding and not yet fully known by any of us.
Sometimes I feel that my life is very securely tied up at the wharf. I do find myself straining at the ropes, thinking of exciting journeys out at sea. That boat in my painting is still tied up at the wharf, but somehow even so it is on an adventure of its own.
By the mystery of life I wonder if I too am on journeys that are not immediately obvious even to me as I am tied up by the responsibilities and limitations of my own earthly path. I deeply trust God that I am on the journey intended for me. Somehow by His mystery and Spirit, our lives tied up often have important and significant journeys beyond ourselves. Increasingly I want to let go of the hold and control of my own destiny, allowing His Spirit to uniquely give greater meaning and purpose to even the places where I may feel stationary and tied up. May God use the paintings of our lives in His ways to bring love and joy and peace to Himself and to all those unexpected others in our paths.
Sometimes I feel that my life is very securely tied up at the wharf. I do find myself straining at the ropes, thinking of exciting journeys out at sea. That boat in my painting is still tied up at the wharf, but somehow even so it is on an adventure of its own.
By the mystery of life I wonder if I too am on journeys that are not immediately obvious even to me as I am tied up by the responsibilities and limitations of my own earthly path. I deeply trust God that I am on the journey intended for me. Somehow by His mystery and Spirit, our lives tied up often have important and significant journeys beyond ourselves. Increasingly I want to let go of the hold and control of my own destiny, allowing His Spirit to uniquely give greater meaning and purpose to even the places where I may feel stationary and tied up. May God use the paintings of our lives in His ways to bring love and joy and peace to Himself and to all those unexpected others in our paths.
Friday, 15 March 2013
The Therapy Sand
When one of my far-flung daughters soon-to-return-home contemplated the upcoming home declutter so that she can dig her way into a corner that will be her new room, her immediate reaction was to tell me that the therapy sand bin would be the first thing that I would have to let go.
When my daughter was young, she and I and neighbouring children spent hours in our back-yard sand box. Each home since then has had a large and well appointed sand-box with sand toys which is still a place of refuge and play for us all.
Much later, when it was determined that my younger children would benefit from therapy, I spent long hours investigating possible therapists who would be able to help and stand with us all over the years. Though cognitive behavioural therapy is the most researched and popular therapy offered especially in the local mental health regions, I wanted a broader approach for myself and my children. Since my years studying bits of psychology in university many decades ago I have been struck with the effectiveness of play therapy. The therapists finally chosen for the children each have expertise in play and sand therapy. Often I was called in at the end of therapy sessions to witness ongoing healing and growth expressed in play and the sand table. It was such a place of calm integration for my girls.
When a therapist friend was changing the direction of her own practice, she offered me a large flat tub full of very fine, white sand brought specially from the beaches of California. Since then that indoor sand tub has brought hours of release and calm to us all in the long and rainy winter months. Over the years I have carefully saved little plastic animals and figures. They are perfect for play in this small sand tub.
The sand tub has had some very significant moments of use. One of our daughters went through a time of very significant angst and pain. She would have periods of uncontrollable generalized body pain and shaking that nothing would relieve. During one of those episodes when I was close to taking her to the local hospital emergency, as a last resort I dragged the sand tub to a spot beside her bed. She immediately started sifting the sand, feeling its soft smoothness fall between her fingers. Over and over she would grasp for the sand and let it sift through her hands. Her shaking and crying stopped. The pain dissipated. Together with our hands in the sand, calm was restored.
I still love feeling that sand and playing with the little figures scattered around the hills of sand.
No, my Rebecca, the sand tub will not be leaving. Your corner is already waiting for you in open spaces and warm anticipation of you coming home soon, but tucked away my sand tub will remain.
When my daughter was young, she and I and neighbouring children spent hours in our back-yard sand box. Each home since then has had a large and well appointed sand-box with sand toys which is still a place of refuge and play for us all.
Much later, when it was determined that my younger children would benefit from therapy, I spent long hours investigating possible therapists who would be able to help and stand with us all over the years. Though cognitive behavioural therapy is the most researched and popular therapy offered especially in the local mental health regions, I wanted a broader approach for myself and my children. Since my years studying bits of psychology in university many decades ago I have been struck with the effectiveness of play therapy. The therapists finally chosen for the children each have expertise in play and sand therapy. Often I was called in at the end of therapy sessions to witness ongoing healing and growth expressed in play and the sand table. It was such a place of calm integration for my girls.
When a therapist friend was changing the direction of her own practice, she offered me a large flat tub full of very fine, white sand brought specially from the beaches of California. Since then that indoor sand tub has brought hours of release and calm to us all in the long and rainy winter months. Over the years I have carefully saved little plastic animals and figures. They are perfect for play in this small sand tub.
The sand tub has had some very significant moments of use. One of our daughters went through a time of very significant angst and pain. She would have periods of uncontrollable generalized body pain and shaking that nothing would relieve. During one of those episodes when I was close to taking her to the local hospital emergency, as a last resort I dragged the sand tub to a spot beside her bed. She immediately started sifting the sand, feeling its soft smoothness fall between her fingers. Over and over she would grasp for the sand and let it sift through her hands. Her shaking and crying stopped. The pain dissipated. Together with our hands in the sand, calm was restored.
I still love feeling that sand and playing with the little figures scattered around the hills of sand.
No, my Rebecca, the sand tub will not be leaving. Your corner is already waiting for you in open spaces and warm anticipation of you coming home soon, but tucked away my sand tub will remain.
Thursday, 14 March 2013
Decluttering
Crocuses are blooming and daffodils are pushing up through the warming earth of our garden. Spring is just around the corner and with the increased light and warmth our horizons are expanding as we start to move outside more. It is time for spring cleaning after a winter spent inside.
This spring I want to begin to declutter my life. A friend of mine has recently taken a decluttering course. She has encouraged me and given me some pointers about how to begin with my home. One of the keys is to set apart a significant chunk of time and then start with one room at a time. Stay in that one room until the task is complete. If it is a bedroom, make the bed and place all unwanted items on the bed, or just outside the door. Sort and deal with the items later, but begin with removing them. Already in my heart I am starting to get mentally ready for the great declutter, considering what is important and what is not. I am looking forward to wide open spaces of clear.
I have already begun my life decluttering in these last months. For me, it was important to start decluttering my mind and heart. I have carefully been considering what is really important to me. St. Francis has again been an inspiration in this whole area. He left his life of lavish luxury for a simplicity and devotion to God. His was a complete declutter of all that was not focussed on loving God and others as oneself. While each person's journey is unique, I am thankful that these days it does feel that my heart is more open and clear and focussed. Many of my previous worries and concerns have been pushed out to the fringes of my life and I am thankful for more wide open spaces in my heart and mind. Just like unwanted things are to be removed and not brought back into the openness of the rooms in our homes, so we are to leave the unwanted emotional baggage out of our hearts. Once reviewed and integrated into our beings, much of our past baggage really can be thrown into the sea under a "no fishing" sign! Christ came to bring us hope for new beginnings and life uncluttered by mistakes in the past.
I have lots of interests that bring books and stuff into my life. I sometimes think that my kids would not have become artists and wide ranging thinkers without some of the "stuff" that was so accessible to them. Some of these things I will keep. Still, lots can go.
For my heart, more open spaces beckon too! In the still quietness I am being careful to keep my communication and love for God, others and my own self open and clear.
I send love and encouragement to others in these spring decluttering days of both homes and hearts!
This spring I want to begin to declutter my life. A friend of mine has recently taken a decluttering course. She has encouraged me and given me some pointers about how to begin with my home. One of the keys is to set apart a significant chunk of time and then start with one room at a time. Stay in that one room until the task is complete. If it is a bedroom, make the bed and place all unwanted items on the bed, or just outside the door. Sort and deal with the items later, but begin with removing them. Already in my heart I am starting to get mentally ready for the great declutter, considering what is important and what is not. I am looking forward to wide open spaces of clear.
I have already begun my life decluttering in these last months. For me, it was important to start decluttering my mind and heart. I have carefully been considering what is really important to me. St. Francis has again been an inspiration in this whole area. He left his life of lavish luxury for a simplicity and devotion to God. His was a complete declutter of all that was not focussed on loving God and others as oneself. While each person's journey is unique, I am thankful that these days it does feel that my heart is more open and clear and focussed. Many of my previous worries and concerns have been pushed out to the fringes of my life and I am thankful for more wide open spaces in my heart and mind. Just like unwanted things are to be removed and not brought back into the openness of the rooms in our homes, so we are to leave the unwanted emotional baggage out of our hearts. Once reviewed and integrated into our beings, much of our past baggage really can be thrown into the sea under a "no fishing" sign! Christ came to bring us hope for new beginnings and life uncluttered by mistakes in the past.
I have lots of interests that bring books and stuff into my life. I sometimes think that my kids would not have become artists and wide ranging thinkers without some of the "stuff" that was so accessible to them. Some of these things I will keep. Still, lots can go.
For my heart, more open spaces beckon too! In the still quietness I am being careful to keep my communication and love for God, others and my own self open and clear.
I send love and encouragement to others in these spring decluttering days of both homes and hearts!
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
An Instrument of God's Peace
My heart leapt today as a colleague came into our office and announced that the world has a new pope. Though I am not Catholic, I do believe as a fellow Christian that the influence of the pope in our world has the potential to bring positive and godly hope and love. A saint who I believe has captured much of the essence of Christianity is Francis of Assissi. I have always been deeply inspired by the radical love and humble life of St. Francis. The new Pope taking the name of the humble Francis was a great reminder to me of the essence of Christ's message. Indeed this new Pope Francis is extolled as a holy man with a pastor's heart. He lives in humble dwellings and has a heart for ordinary people living in the struggles and pain of life. He identifies with the poor and marginalized.
Tonight I pray with fresh enthusiasm the heart cry of St. Francis of Assissi. May we all be inspired to walk on roads of giving; caring deeply and radically for others with love, light and joy.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
Tonight I pray with fresh enthusiasm the heart cry of St. Francis of Assissi. May we all be inspired to walk on roads of giving; caring deeply and radically for others with love, light and joy.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
Tuesday, 12 March 2013
A Fork in the Road
We are having to make some decisions about which turn we will take down the road of life for a couple of our girls. There is no easy and clear answer. There are advantages to both roads, and some stumbling blocks too. One road is safe and familiar even if it does involve challenge and pain. The other is a considerable step of faith in many ways. It may be good, but on the other hand it may have some of the same stumbling blocks as the other.
I like to feel that whatever road taken, ultimately there will be places of personal growth down each one. We do take our own selves on each road, and perhaps our greatest point of journey is that self journey within. There is no doubt, though, that some roads do facilitate personal growth and development more than others. Although I often worry that change may bring me right out of the frying pan into the fire, I have rarely regretted risks of change and adventure in my life.
I think it is time to bring out the old pro and con list on this decision. Our girls would like to take the risk. I am realizing that in their short lives the default has always been to risk change. If things are hard, change has always ensued. Today I am not so sure. Maybe we will consider change, but take a deep breath and wait. I have not rushed to put together the papers that would lead to immediate stepping down that unknown fork. Here I am writing a blog instead! I am standing and peering down each road, with wonder and prayer. I think I will linger just a bit longer here. Sometimes it is the right move to wait and not move, but to be still and consider.
For tonight I will set up my tent here at the fork. It is a good place to camp and be refreshed for now.
I like to feel that whatever road taken, ultimately there will be places of personal growth down each one. We do take our own selves on each road, and perhaps our greatest point of journey is that self journey within. There is no doubt, though, that some roads do facilitate personal growth and development more than others. Although I often worry that change may bring me right out of the frying pan into the fire, I have rarely regretted risks of change and adventure in my life.
I think it is time to bring out the old pro and con list on this decision. Our girls would like to take the risk. I am realizing that in their short lives the default has always been to risk change. If things are hard, change has always ensued. Today I am not so sure. Maybe we will consider change, but take a deep breath and wait. I have not rushed to put together the papers that would lead to immediate stepping down that unknown fork. Here I am writing a blog instead! I am standing and peering down each road, with wonder and prayer. I think I will linger just a bit longer here. Sometimes it is the right move to wait and not move, but to be still and consider.
For tonight I will set up my tent here at the fork. It is a good place to camp and be refreshed for now.
Monday, 11 March 2013
Feeling Different
Today two of our girls have gone to spend the day at our local small Christian school. I am hopeful that it might be a good fit for them as they head into high school. They seemed to know a number of kids as I dropped them off this morning and it had a feeling of happy acceptance.
Earlier one of the girls expressed that she feels different than many of the kids that are in her world. She tends to gravitate naturally to those who have complex and challenging histories like her own. Another daughter has an extremely eclectic group of friends. She also once explained to me that they look on the outside how she feels inside. It is comforting for her to be with others who fit with her complicated inside heart.
I think we all tend to be attracted to those who we perceive to be similar to ourselves. Often, though, it has been my experience that sometimes my initial heart leanings toward others are not always accurate. My life has been deeply enriched by meaningful and deep relationships with people who are very different than me.
I hope that my daughter who felt that she might be different from the kids at the Christian school will give the kids a chance. I think that often people do not go to church for similar reasons. From the outside we seem different than all those people in church. We perceive others to be different. Oftentimes they are, but it is also worth digging a bit deeper. Those differences do not mean an easy or worry free life. They may be differences that can bring added richness to our lives and they also many not really be as different as we originally thought.
We all are very unique and different from one another. Inside, though, are lots of similarities. Loneliness and longing to be appreciated and loved are common human refrains. Accept those feelings of difference while embracing the adventure of new relationships formed in the unexpected places of life.
Earlier one of the girls expressed that she feels different than many of the kids that are in her world. She tends to gravitate naturally to those who have complex and challenging histories like her own. Another daughter has an extremely eclectic group of friends. She also once explained to me that they look on the outside how she feels inside. It is comforting for her to be with others who fit with her complicated inside heart.
I think we all tend to be attracted to those who we perceive to be similar to ourselves. Often, though, it has been my experience that sometimes my initial heart leanings toward others are not always accurate. My life has been deeply enriched by meaningful and deep relationships with people who are very different than me.
I hope that my daughter who felt that she might be different from the kids at the Christian school will give the kids a chance. I think that often people do not go to church for similar reasons. From the outside we seem different than all those people in church. We perceive others to be different. Oftentimes they are, but it is also worth digging a bit deeper. Those differences do not mean an easy or worry free life. They may be differences that can bring added richness to our lives and they also many not really be as different as we originally thought.
We all are very unique and different from one another. Inside, though, are lots of similarities. Loneliness and longing to be appreciated and loved are common human refrains. Accept those feelings of difference while embracing the adventure of new relationships formed in the unexpected places of life.
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