Already the homework has started. Homework is especially challenging for my girls as these early assignments in high school seem to invariably involve the telling of their stories. We all have multifaceted and layered life stories that often trigger single stories for others. I have recently been deeply impacted by Chimamanda Adichie's TED talk about the danger of a single story in our lives. For our children the label of foster child and adoption brings up many presuppositions of a single strand story that can be dangerous. As my daughter wrote about her life yesterday, she started by writing that every cell in her body was resisting the writing of her story. Recently she was at a summer camp where she was able to share many strands of her story in great detail for the first time. She spoke to a small and caring work crew group who embraced her, prayed for her, and saw beyond any single strand in her story to accept the whole complex person she is now. For now at school, she decided to write two stories. One is for her teacher, including several strands of her life with details of her past. The other emphasizes other superficial single strand parts of her life and will be the one she shares with the class who she does not know well or trust.
Conscious awareness and acknowledgement of the many strands and layers of our stories is an important part of growth for us all. Coming to understand the reality of the many strands that influence us in the present can take many years and is an ongoing life process of self discovery in itself. In the writing of several strands of her life my daughter stepped over some difficult hurdles that will bring ongoing healing and self understanding and acceptance. It was important to walk beside her on this difficult road yesterday, helping her to integrate and accept all of who she is in her understanding of herself.
For all of us, it is important to continue to discover and remember the many strands of our stories. Some strands are full of pain and shame. Like my daughter, we will want to chose carefully who we share these with. Still, human relationship is central to our being. Find someone who can help walk with you in the telling and acknowledging of all parts of your story. There are parts of the stories of my children and husband that may not be helpful to share with me. In some traditions people share these parts with their priests or wise healers. Find those healers for you. They may be counsellors, trusted friends or writing. Discover the adventure of the diamonds and strong multistranded ropes within your own soul. Uncover and embrace the fullness of your whole story. Be careful of the safe tendency to create those safe single stories both in yourself and others. They are dangerous in the end and rob us all of the immeasurable richness of all parts of what it means to be a human being.
Monday, 9 September 2013
Saturday, 7 September 2013
One Step at a Time!
Gears shift and grind. Labour Day brings reminders of the pain and joys and struggles of the birthing process that encompasses all new beginnings in life.
Life is full of ebbing and flowing, rest and activity, words and silence. After a time of blogging silence, it is time for me to step forward again.
As in so many things, we need to just take one small step ahead at a time. Sometimes it will feel that those steps only take us backward, but it is the showing up and attempting to take the steps that makes all the difference in the end.
A couple of my children started at a new and very large high school this week. The anticipation of this new beginning has brought many fears and challenges over the last months. Finally the day of actually going to a new school has come! The general impression of my girls has been of love and kindness by those around them. They have noticed angels of kindness in many ways this last week. A schedule was changed quickly and easily. Though a record of unnoticed overdue library books followed them to the new school and could have prevented them from getting their text books, forgiveness and mercy was extended and the textbooks were given. A support aide drew close to one daughter again and again in several of her classes, giving support and friendly care and guidance. Several teachers went over and above in their friendly love and care for the new individuals in their care. One fellow student obviously was not able to sit still and caused disruption and challenge wherever he went, but my girls noticed the teachers extending love and care again and again. They in turn felt accepted and understood by the care given to others.
Stepping forward to the new beginning of this September I am reminded again to go forward with the intention of goodness, love and mercy. I am confident that even in my own stumbling efforts and uncertainties just one step at a time, that God's goodness and unfailing love will chase after me. (Psalm 23) May we take those faltering small steps of kind words and love extended. We may not see how they are noticed. Be God's hands and feet of kindness and love and understanding forgiveness caring for others these days! One step at a time.
Life is full of ebbing and flowing, rest and activity, words and silence. After a time of blogging silence, it is time for me to step forward again.
As in so many things, we need to just take one small step ahead at a time. Sometimes it will feel that those steps only take us backward, but it is the showing up and attempting to take the steps that makes all the difference in the end.
A couple of my children started at a new and very large high school this week. The anticipation of this new beginning has brought many fears and challenges over the last months. Finally the day of actually going to a new school has come! The general impression of my girls has been of love and kindness by those around them. They have noticed angels of kindness in many ways this last week. A schedule was changed quickly and easily. Though a record of unnoticed overdue library books followed them to the new school and could have prevented them from getting their text books, forgiveness and mercy was extended and the textbooks were given. A support aide drew close to one daughter again and again in several of her classes, giving support and friendly care and guidance. Several teachers went over and above in their friendly love and care for the new individuals in their care. One fellow student obviously was not able to sit still and caused disruption and challenge wherever he went, but my girls noticed the teachers extending love and care again and again. They in turn felt accepted and understood by the care given to others.
Stepping forward to the new beginning of this September I am reminded again to go forward with the intention of goodness, love and mercy. I am confident that even in my own stumbling efforts and uncertainties just one step at a time, that God's goodness and unfailing love will chase after me. (Psalm 23) May we take those faltering small steps of kind words and love extended. We may not see how they are noticed. Be God's hands and feet of kindness and love and understanding forgiveness caring for others these days! One step at a time.
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